To Lose A Loved One (Johnlock)

Chapter One

To see life fade from your loved one, to not feel their pulse, breaks you and you can never fix it however hard you try, it can never be fixed for as long as you live.

The day he met his future love was the day his life changed, being introduced to the most impossible person shocked him, however many times he got annoyed by everything they said he didn't care, because this was the person he fell in love with and nothing could change that. But to admit you fell in love with your only friend can change your life forever, this is why he never admitted it, and now he stands in the same place as he has for the past two years waiting for the return, the return of his loved one, the place he stands? The grave, the grave of where his loved one lies, where they've lied since that fateful day. He could've helped he was sure of it, he could of stopped it, so with his heart broke and full of guilt he returns everyday whatever the weather telling them his daily stories, wondering if they're bored, they were always bored, being dead wouldn't change that. But today the man stands there with his gun in his palm wondering if he could join them. He hoped they were still alive but he'd seen the body, checked their pulse, he knew they couldn't return, it had been two years to the day, he'd tried to move on he'd met someone but they'd never match up to his lost one, three years to this day he'd watched them die, he couldn't forgive himself, he wouldn't be missed, he'd lost the only person he cared for and loved, sure he had his landlady who was like a mother to him but even she didn't understand his loss, and his sister, but she hadn't spoke to him for about two years, even his therapist gave up on him, depression had taken over.
He looked down to the gun,
"I could join you, wherever you are hell, heaven or wherever you've ended up, I miss you to much to let you go, it will be painless done within seconds, you could of listed me 50 reasons why not to leave, but you can't cause your dead and nothing can change, not even the fact that I...I... L... I LOVE YOU!"
A loud thud interrupted him but he ignored it carrying on,
"I've loved you since the day I met you, but it took until I lost you to realise it, but I wouldn't change a single thing about the days we had not one single moment."
He realised he'd said all this out load towards the grave but he didn't care, he lifted the gun towards his head and spoke one last time.
"I believed in you, I still do, maybe not that your alive but maybe your up there looking down on me, calling me stupid, shouting your bored, I've lived these three years alone hoping you were out there, but nobody can prove your out there so now it's my time, my time to join you."
A single tear fell down the mans face,
"I'll find you whatever it takes, I told you even if nobody finds you amazing, fantastic or bloody brilliant I would and I still do, you said you didn't have friends only one, and I couldn't ask to be friends with a more amazing person, or to fall in love so quickly and so deeply."
He released the safety on the gun, he gripped the trigger,
"Maybe you shouldn't have fallen, but you did, on the second day we met you asked me something and I've changed my answer, you asked 'If you were dying, if you'd been murdered. In your very last few seconds, what would you say?' I said 'Please, God let me live.'
Well today I'm changing that and my last words will be..."
He gripped the trigger, placing the gun to his head.
"Sherlock Holmes, I LOVE YOU..."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you to MOLZMADNESS for helping me pick a title. Check out her stories.