Prologue

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I always thought life changes as the way we always wanted, but that's not a fair game created by god, he helps us, makes us spiritiual then he takes away the faith as soon as something undesirable happens,

He was undersirable in my desirable fantasy, it has been always their since the scratch of the god's existence, i am not a believer, i have faith, faith is a good word for non-believers, that changes a game for them, i had hope, it's a challenging and funny word, because when you hope for something, i hope for more and more, it's never ending process for our complexed human nature, He is complexed and who isn't?
Even Adam and Eve approached for the forbidden fruit, that's how god thought he led them to because that was a test, yeah, yeah i have knowledge about the religion because of my catholic background yet, He is my forbidden fruit,  i tasted every bitterness and sweet memories of him.

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