closer // phan

1

*2009*

Dan sat on his bed in his dim room, the TV the only source of light. It droned on as butterflies raged on in his stomach. He had been growing increasingly close with a boy online lately, which he kept a secret from almost anyone he knew. He wanted to keep it all to himself for the moment, he had never been so happy in his life.

Dan had met Phil only a few months before, and they had texted every single day without fail, phone calls scattered throughout. Dan was absolutely and utterly obsessed with Phil in every way, and he didn't regret it. They had quickly become best friends, but, something inside him urged him to ask for something more. He couldn't get over the way Phil giggled, the color of his eyes was so piercing and intense, his face was flawless to him and he needed every bit of him for himself, forever. He was falling in love, there was no use in denying it. He had been so miserable for so long, and Phil was proving to be the sunshine in his life.

He felt his heart jump as his phone vibrated in his lap, grinning from ear to ear to see Phil's name on the screen. He hadn't done that in a long time. He unlocked it anxiously and opened their conversation.

phil ❤️: hey you. :)

Dan texted a 'hello' back quickly with an array of emojis, biting his lip in anticipation. They'd barely begun texting tonight and his entire body was on edge. They had been planning on meeting for a few weeks now, and Dan tortured himself with thoughts of hugs and kisses, snuggles and maybe something else. He felt so stupid for wanting this, but he couldn't pull his mind away from it. He wasn't even sure what his sexuality was anymore, all he knew was something about Phil drove him crazy, and he was letting it take over.

phil ❤️: dan, can I ask you something?

Dan's toes curled under his sheets as he felt his heart race. He was dying to know what Phil wanted to ask, but so reluctant at the same time. He didn't want to get hurt, not all over again. He hurriedly typed a 'yes, yes of course' unable to maintain any sort of patience. Flipping through channels was not a reliable form of distraction, so he just sat, waiting, wondering.

His phone buzzed. The messages kept coming through, over and over again; Dan could barely keep up.

phil ❤️: so, umm.. listen, i don't wanna make things weird..
phil ❤️: but.. i really like you, dan, and.. just was wondering if you felt the same?
phil ❤️: just, we're meeting soon, and i need to know, it's driving me insane
phil ❤️: god i'm so lame.

Dan's hand shook with excitement as he rolled over into onto his stomach, burying his face in the pillow. He was smiling uncontrollably, thinking he might cry from happiness. His mind was a blur, rushing with relief and overwhelming joy. He tried to form a response with all the effort he had, wanting to make sure Phil knew all he had to say.

dan 💓: oh my god? yes, yes i do, i really do phil holy shit

phil ❤️: really? oh thank god haha i sound like such a loser, but.. i can't get over you. you're always on my mind, i.. i'm falling for you. you're so perfect.. you make me so damn happy.

dan 💓: me too, shit, i really am, everything about you i can't get you out of my head.

phil ❤️: so don't.

Dan would've squealed if he didn't catch himself, his whole body was shaking as he sat up in bed. He pulled his knees up to his chest as he started writing back, before Phil interrupted him.