Careful Whispers

A/N I own nothing here but my made up little dabble!

Okay, this is a song fic, based on my head canon! My head canon tries to explain why Deadpool/Wade loves WHAM! So much...Idk Just read....XD OH and this is pretty much an AU that goes on through his life.

Enjoy!.....?

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I feel so unsure, as I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor.
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Wade looked out his window at the harsh downpour that assaulted the area. The sidewalk in front of his house was shiny, wet and unused. The blonde sighed and hopped down from the windowsill, trudging over to the dining room and flopping over on to the table top. The seven year-old felt hot tears begin to sting at his eyes at the next thought that came to his mind.

No one had come to his birthday.
Again.

Suddenly he felt his hand being tugged, followed by the 'click' of the radio turning on. He looked up and saw his mother smiling sadly at him. She grabbed him and began to swing him around the room happily, ignoring the rain outside. the two kept dancing around together as the radio played on in the background.

For the first time that day, he laughed.

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As the music dies, something in your eyes. Calls to mind a silver screen and it's sad goodbyes.
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Wade smiled at his mother as they sat on the couch and spoke to each other in hushed tones. They had been watching a movie, but the idea was quickly forgotten in favor of conversation. She laughed at something he said, the color of the T.V dancing on her face and blending into her skin tone. The shading made her facial expression stand out. She seemed truly happy.

Suddenly his mother seemed to grimace in pain. Her face scrunching up in agony as she clutched her chest with her right hand urgently.Wade looked on with wide blue eyes, beginning to panic.

She began to cough and hack, the noise rough and dry as the violent motion raked her body back and forth. After a moment she seemed to calm down and relax again, sinking back into the soft couch. She smiled at him to convince him she was okay. The light from the movie that had seemed so comforting a moment before, seemed to bring out the guilt in her eyes.

She wanted him to think she was okay.

Wade knew better.

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I'm never gonna dance again, guilty feet have got no rhythm.
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The now nine year-old Wade Wilson watched his mother stumble into the living room clumsily. She was beyond tired and weak lately, her steps had become awkward and strangely paced. She could barley make it to the bathroom by herself without falling over or having to clutch the wall for support.

Wade knew there was something wrong but kept his mouth clamped shut knowing no one would listen to him. His teacher would never listen, She was too busy flirting with the principle. He had no friends to talk to about personal matters, he barley spoke to anyone any more. The doctors weren't an option either, they would call him a naive little kid and ignore him. So for now he would have to sit through it and hope for the best.

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Though it's easy to pretend, I know you're not a fool.
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The woman put on a fake smile when her son came into the kitchen looking for her. He didn't need to know how sick his mother felt, how she wanted to pass out half the time. She was about to continue pretending she was fine and healthy, when she saw it. A glint in her son's eyes. He was smarter then he was given credit for. She would have to up her game to continue keeping her sickness from him. She had to protect him from cold reality. She had to save what happiness he had left.

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I should of known better than to cheat a friend, and waste the chance that I'd been given.
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Wade opened his door and peeked down the dark hallway outside his room. The area was pitch black and silent. No lights were on in the house. Wade was convinced she must be asleep now.

Grabbing his backpack and flashlight, Wade ran down the hall and padded softly towards the front door. If she wouldn't tell him what was wrong, she didn't trust him. If she didn't trust him, she didn't care enough about him to love him. If she didn't love him, what was the point?

With that thought he rushed out the door, not looking back despite his pain.

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So I'm never gonna dance again, the way I danced with you.
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She woke up the next day the same as she had for the last week. She felt the same pain, sadness, loneliness and guilt in her heart. She felt it weighing on her shoulders, just short of crushing her.

Her son had left because of her lies and seclusion. She knew it was because of her own deeds. It was her fault. It was always her fault. When his father died, it had been her fault.Now that Wade had left her, she could see all her mistakes . It was ALL her fault. Everything, was her fault.

For the first time that day, but certainly not the last, she cried.

Long into the day, evening and night, she cried.

Her worries and grief had finally crushed her spirit.

like always, it was her fault.

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Time can never mend, the careless whispers of a good friend.
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Wade felt tears coat his face as he sat against an unnamed alley wall, not far from his old house.

He missed his mother deeply.

He missed her soft voice as she sang him a lullaby so he could sleep. Her home baked cookies still made him drool momentarily, before he realized it wasn't real. Her caring smile when she bandaged him up still made him feel better, even if it was only a memory now. He missed it all and it had only been two weeks since he left.

He couldn't go back though, not to someone who didn't love him enough to tell him the truth.

He could get used to not being loved.

He'd have to.

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To the heart and mind, ignorance is kind. There's no comfort in the truth, pain is all you'll find.
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Wade cried until he felt as if he would burst. Sobs racked his whole form as he thought of his mother.

The sound echoed around the desolate alley and back at him, mocking him for his idiocy.

He could never go back to her now. Not after he had betrayed her trust so brutally. She would never trust him again after this. He couldn't stand the look he imagined on her face, the expression she'd adorn if he ever returned. It was sad, angry and betrayed. He didn't know which was the worse the look, or knowing he was the cause of it.

Looking up at the night sky, Wade tried to imagine his mothers face.

he was assaulted with feelings of extreme sadness and betrayal, he hadn't even realized how expressive her face had been. Not until he realized he'd never see it again.

The only person he had ever truly loved in all his eleven years of life and being, would never love him again till he died.

What had he done?

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I'm never gonna dance again guilty feet have got no rhythm, though it's easy to pretend I know your not a fool. I should have known better than to cheat a friend and waste the chance that I'd been given. So I'm never gonna dance again the way I danced with you.
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Wade ran through the streets, ignoring the way his feet squished uncomfortably in his shoes. He had to get back, he didn't care how bad he looked. He didn't care that his hair was a mess, how dirt was covering every inch of his legs, or how his arms were covered with cuts and bruises. He needed to get back to his mother, to beg her forgiveness.

He passed street upon street, until he finally made it back to familiar territory. However tempting it was, he did not slow his pace as he ran towards his house. He had to go apologize to his mother. The words kept chanting in his mind as he sped up.

As he neared the house he saw red and blue lights being reflected off the wet pavement of the road. As he got closer to the lights, he realized they were ambulance lights. Coming from right outside his house old house. His mothers house.

He'd never ran faster.

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Tonight the music seems so loud, I wish that we could lose this crowd. Maybe It's better this way, we'd hurt each other with the things we want to say.
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Stage three lung cancer.

That's what the doctors had said. They said his mother wasn't expected to live, she had gone too long without care to make it.

The room was almost silent as Wade sat beside his sleeping mother. The only noise was the repetition of the heart monitor beside him, the noise was deafening in the tense stressed air of the hospital room.

His mother was unconscious at the moment, and Wade was somewhat thankful for that.

He couldn't face her now.

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We could have been so good together, we could have lived this dance together.
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He could have done something.

He could have stayed and helped his mother through her trying times.

He could have told someone about his mother's problems.

He could have kicked and screamed until his throat was raw.

He could have done something.

Instead, he did nothing.

They could have cured it at an earlier stage.

But now....they could only enjoy what was left of her life.

Her fragile, deprived, sad, grief stricken last days of passable life.

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But now who's gonna dance with me? Please stay.
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His mother had woken up not to long ago, and the awkward silence was heavy and uncomfortable.

It seemed to stretch on and on, no beginning and no end. It was all just monotone.

One of the nurses had brought in a old outdated radio not to long ago, to try and make them feel more comfortable in the hospital. The old thing had seen better days, but it was just a little better than silence.

All that had played so far was advertisements and news reports that made the whole room awkward again.

Soon, however, a familiar tune began to play, and his mother grabbed his hand weakly. Her hand was cold and clammy against his warm one, but he ignored it in favor of holding her hand back. She held onto his hand tightly and began swaying to the music lightly,singing along.

He glanced at her and saw the joy the song brought her. The spark in her eyes flared brightly when he began singing with her, swinging their intertwined hands with the beat.

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I'm never gonna dance again guilty feet have got no rhythm, though it's easy to pretend I know your not a fool. I should have known better than to cheat a friend and waste the chance that I'd been given.
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Wade began to ease his swaying when his mothers hand suddenly loosened and soon felt her grip go completely slack.

He looked down at her relaxed face and still body.

He finally realized the heart monitor had stopped and was droning on in the background as nurses and doctors rushed in, guiding him out into the hallway. His eyes began to blur as the never ending tears poured out of him and his heart clenched uncomfortably in his chest.

He turned and dashed out of the hospital, braving the cold whether outside.

His knees gave out, and he kneeled there in the soaking rain. His tears, warm and salty mixing with the cold rain.

He didn't regret not looking back this time.

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So I'm never gonna dance again the way I danced with you.
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Years later, Wade sat on a chair in his apartment, listening to the rain pour outside.The noise always seemed to both comfort and sadden him.

He was somewhat relaxed, watching the rising and falling of Vanessa's torso as she breathed in and out, the blankets following her chest as she rose and fell. He wouldn't put her through the terrors of Cancers like his mother had. He wouldn't lie to her about it either.

With his mind made up, Wade silently made his way to the front door.

For the second time in his life. He Immediately regretted running away.
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Now that your gone. Now that your gone. So wrong that you had to leave me alone.........

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