Just as Sikowits scanned the class for his last participants of the day, I warily sat with my legs crossed and eyes set forward. I knew what would happen after the bell rung. I knew what harsh yet blissfully painful feelings that were going to surge through me and take me over, but for now, I tried to stay calm. As words began to blend in together I slowly brought my attention over to Jade West. She was glaring at me, her eyes turned up in disgust, from something else besides me entirely, I was sure of it. She bit down on her bottom lip as if the pain wasn't there at all, and her eyes...well...her eyes stayed transfixed on me. I didn't like it. I never did.
What's that saying I always hear people say? Oh yeah, 'Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me.' There was a lot of shame going on, and I couldn't quite shake the feeling. Jade plucked at one of the purple streaks in her hair, examining it as if it mattered. She was dating Beck. She had always been dating him. Honestly, there was no one else besides Beck for Jade. At least in his eyes. Hers were elsewhere. I glanced at the clock, gripping the edge of my chair before taking deep breaths. The bell would ring soon, and I'd be forced into the janitor's closet, lost in total painful bliss.
I straightened my attention on Sikowits before I took a deep breath in. 'One Mississippi." I glanced over at Jade once more, her eyes turning vicious just by the reaction of me taking notice of her. 'Two Mississippi.' I shift in my seat, ignoring the now numbing pain that throbs through my hand as my fingers begin to pale, turning red at the tips. 'Three Mississippi.' I release the breath I once took, as a loud piercing screech breaks the silence of Sikowits' lesson. Cat stops licking herself and begins to clap on stage just as I let go of the death grip I was giving to my chair. The loud noise was the school bell, and class was over.
In a panic I searched the classroom for someone to walk with me to my locker. Jade was already taken by Beck, although she'd find a way to get away from him sooner or later. She'd always had. I thought about taking Cat with me to my locker but she'd cower in a corner if Jade grabs my wrist. There was no way I was going to pull Sinjin or Robbie to the side because like Cat, they too were fearful of Jade. And Beck...poor Beck. If only he knew of the things Jade wanted, of what she demanded of me, of what she believed he lacked for her.
"Andre!" I waved my hand in the air as if I was just seeing him for the first time in the day. "walk me to my locker?" I sort of state while asking at the same time. He nods, shrugs, and then follows me like the good friend that he is. He doesn't know that on the inside I'm hiding and using him as a shield of comfort. Just as I near my locker, Trina, my older sister, darts past me like a bat out of hell. Taking notice of my appearance, she turns on her heels and stares at me.
"You look kind of dressed up for school don't you think?" She stares at me as I raise a questionable eyebrow. We live together and ride to school in the same car and yet she asks me this now. Andre begins to nod, looking at me as if I was some prized choice meat. I nudge him in the arm just as Jade rounds the corner, Beck-less might I add. Her boyfriend is gone, perhaps in another class, perhaps not. She stares at me before walking over as I grab Andre's arm.
"Can you help me with a class project?" My desperate plea for some type of human contact strikes something up in the boy.
"What's in it for me?" He asks, smirking as I roll my eyes.
"Andre," I scowl before giving in and smiling, "two boxes of chocolate, but that's it." I point to his nose as he nods just as Jade stops in front of me.
"Tori!" She exclaims as I give her this half-smile which I wasn't shooting for at all. I couldn't be serious, I never learned how to be so cold. But unlike my parents, I had a heart for everyone, even if that meant I was getting hurt in the process.
