Yuri On Ice: Viktor X Yuri

vikturi

My fingers tangle in his dark locks, bringing his face closer so that I may reach his lips. The lips I had dreamed of touching since the day he came up to me in a drunken mess, begging me to become his coach. So why is it that I now hesitate; his mouth just inches away, the closeness almost consuming all my sense of being. I stop. I stare at Yuri's eyes; eyes that seem as if they are pleading.

Hesitantly I pull back, bringing Yuri's face into full view. My hands relaxing down to hold his cheeks. Yuri returns my gaze, anxiety obvious in his expression. I know the reason why I stopped, I could tell he was anxious, I know he's at a breaking point and Yuri knows it too. He can't stop those tears though; they fall relentlessly down his cheeks, their final destination my hands, each tear breaking my heart just a little bit more. His whole body shaking furiously, his attempts to wipe away the tears with his uncontrollable hands made me want to embrace every single bit of him. Even if it would calm him the tiniest bit I would do anything, but something was holding me back and I still wasn't sure what it was.

I lift my thumb to the tears spilling from his eyes, every part of me making sure I was steady in my touch. Wiping away the cold droplets before taking his hands in mine, allowing him the comfort of my confidence that everything will be ok. I fix my vision on him, pouring every ounce of that same confidence into my gaze, silently reassuring him. Hoping he would get my message. Slowly his shaking calmed, his eyes still watering, but all the same calmed. Reluctantly he sat on the bed, his head hanging low, fixated on his feet. All the time his hands enclosed in mine.

"Yuri?"
I tried; I tried so hard to keep my voice steady, but it was impossible for me to say his name without it breaking at the end. My confidence fading every second I looked at him like this, helpless and alone. He clung onto me as if I was the only thing keeping him here, the only thing keeping him grounded to the earth.

I repeat his name, "Yuri," my voice barely a whisper as he continues facing downwards.
I kneel in front of him now, bending down further so I can look up into his eyes as if he were a child again, innocent and pure.

"Why?"
The word escapes his lips as if he had no control over what he said. Each part of him showing signs that he wasn't the one wanting to let the words slip. His tear stained eyes meeting with mine.
"Viktor, why are you really here? Why do you care for someone like me? Do you even love me. Surely part of this has to be a lie. Your so amazing and I'm just... me."
Slowly my eyebrows cross in confusion, his question now turning into mine.
"Yuri? What do you mean," I question.
He glances away, his eyes focusing anywhere but me, slowly shrinking in on himself, shutting me out, creating a barrier.
Frustration builds in my chest, a pang of anger swelling inside me. I knew I shouldn't get angry but sometimes I feel helpless, unable to help him. If only he would give me the chance, let me know what would help him.

I close my eyes, taking a deep breath calming myself, it's not the time to get angry, I will only make it worse. I steady my voice as I attempt one more time to get through to him, to bring that gaze back to me, "Y-"
"Viktor," I stopped at my name. There was a rise of nervousness in my chest at the determined look in Yuri's tear ridden eyes.
"Viktor, I want you to tell me. Tell me something that will stop this uncertainty. Do something to stop it because I don't know what to believe. I want you. I know that much. And your actions tell me that that's what you want too. I know that. But my mind won't allow that. It won't allow me to believe a single word. It hits like a bullet telling me I'm worthless. Viktor..." He stares into my eyes, scanning my face.
"I know your frustrated, I am too. Your trying to work out what in the world could make me think this. You've kissed me before; that time on the rink. I was so happy." He choked that last word as if him saying it would bring an end to everything, as if at any moment that word would lose meaning.

He looked down, his expression sad. His mouth forming the next word of his sentence when I interrupted, "I love you."
The words spilled out. There was no control to what I had just said, but it felt right. The form of the words felt like I had just filled a gap. Like I had found a missing part of a jigsaw. All I needed was the last piece of that jigsaw and the answer was in front of me.
"Yuri, I love you. I love you so much. Since that time at the party last year. If you don't believe me then that's ok, but I will keep telling you that I love you until there isn't an ounce of disbelief left. I won't leave your side, I promise"
He looked down at his hands before lifting his head to answer, "a promise is a big thing Viktor... please... if you can't keep it th-"
"Yuri... If you want I can pinky promise." I said in a teasing tone.
That's when I saw a glimpse of that smile. The smile that I longed for. The smile that fit his lips perfectly. He lightly hit me in the shoulder as he laughed, "no I don't need a pinky promise. I'll believe you. God!"
I joined his laughter, a sigh of relief escaping as the laugh died down.

Once again Yuri looked at me. His eyes, now glistening with the worn tears from before, smiling and leaning towards me, his face inching closer...
"Stop." The word came out as a whisper from my lips. Yuri sat back his face a mixture of shock and confusion.
"Yuri. I want to-" I moved forward, stopping when I was only inches from his face, my eyes looking deep into his brown ones as my hands moved up to cup his face, an invitation for Yuri to move toward me, his flushed face so close that it was now a blur. The tension was too much... I pressed my lips against his, the speed and force surprising him. But he soon relaxed into the kiss, his mouth opening slightly as he let out a slight moan. Adorable. I slide my fingers into his hair, twisting the black locks into my grasp. His arms slung around my neck, our bodies closer than I could've hoped.

Slowly we broke apart, Yuri's face painted red with embarrassment. He brought his face forward, toward mine. His lips inches from my lips and before he could press them against mine I parted them and whispered, "My Yuri, finally."