Hey (: So, this is a new story that I've been working on. I'm not sure what drove me to write it, maybe it's the wide range of books I've had my nose in the last couple of days. Well, whatever it is, it's brought this to you, my readers. So I hope you enjoy reading it, and feel free to leave feedback, and vote, comment, rate me!
Note: The picture in the sidebar to the right is of Maddison (the main character). (:
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"Why?" I ask, my voice cracking as I speak. Damn it. Damn me! My sight begins to blur, and I slowly close my eyes and tilt my head back slightly. Don't. Cry. I open my eyes, glad that they're no longer threatening to spill tears.
"You ruin everything. I'd be better off fucking dead, rather than living with you," she says, glaring at me with those yellow-brown eyes of hers. I can see that she means every word she says, despite the fact that she is sure to pretend she never said such things in only a matter of time. I wince, the words hurting me too much for my liking.
"I didn't do anything wrong!" I yell, surprised at the strength in my words. Wasn't it only seconds ago that I had been this close to tears? Not that my strength was a bad thing, no. It was a shield. I couldn't let it down, couldn't let her see how much her words were affecting me.
She laughs.
"Ha. Please," she begins, turning her back to me, "Course not. Little miss perfect, you are. Can't ever do anything wrong."
I stand there, awkward and self-concious, unsure of what to do with myself. She turns back around, facing me.
"No. You didn't do anything, full stop. You're a lazy little bitch, completely useless," she says to me, her voice strong and stable, as if she were stating a dead-set obvious fact.
She is, I realise. Everything she's saying to me, it's all the truth. I'm lazy. I'm a little bitch. Completely usesless. I ruin everything.
"I'm sorry, mum."
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I shoot up in bed, disoriented. My eyes feel itchy and wet, and I realise that I've been crying. My hands feel around the soft polyester throw rug on top of me. My sight is blurred and spotted shades of black, clearly I sat up far too quickly.
My hands finally locate what they were searching for - my mobile phone. I steady myself for just a moment, waiting for my sight to clear up, then I turn on my phone to check the time.
9:18am
Wow, and here I was thinking I'd probably slept in to the afternoon. I sighed, laying back into my pillows, which I had many of, scattered all around the head of my bed. There had to be at least a dozen of them, along with a large collection of soft toys - particularly bears and bunnies. My eyes settled on the wall above me. I had used blue-tack to stick up a series of glow in the dark stars which I had on my wall for a while when I was little. Usually, after almost 10 years or so, you'd think that the stars would have worn out, however I had only used them for a couple of weeks when I first got them.
I remember clearly why I took them down. One night when staying over mum's then boyfriend's place, I had a strange experience. Thinking back on it, I was probably full-on hallucinating (even though I was not on drugs of any sort), but at the time it just felt so real. I had almost fallen asleep when my stomach churned wickedly. My gut was telling me something was wrong, so I opened my eyes.
Above me, where two white shadows floating around on the roof, progressing to the walls and even my bedhead. One shone green where I figured it's eyes should have been located, the other shone red. I didn't feel safe, at all. In all honestly, I would have simply passed this off as a bad, bad dream, but I wasn't the only one who saw these shadows. No, mum's then boyfriend's two dogs were barking and attacking the sliding door. They managed to break it open, and began chasing these shadows. This part was not a dream though, which is why I couldn't pass the whole thing off as such. The next day, I got home and pulled off all the glow in the dark stars. They reminded me far too much of that night.
I shake the memory out of my thoughts, taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. That was a long time ago, and things have changed. The stars are now a great comfort to me on my many sleepless nights. I observe the my familiar surroundings. Familiar, because I've spent the most part of the last 3 years in this bedroom.
The walls are painted in a creamy light green, with posters and photographs and fairy lights strung up around most of the walls. My dark wooden four-poster queen bed sits in the corner, across from my matching vanity. In another corner sits a thin, long shelf holding dozens of sweet-smelling candles - honey, vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, berries, caramel - which is next to a large bookcase to match my bed and vanity, that is chock-o-block full of thick books.
I used to love to read, but lately I haven't had the patience to do so.
I finally convince myself to get up, after all, lazing around in bed all day is only going to make me fatter. My feet hit the ground, and a shiver runs up through my body. The hard, polished wooden floor is quite cold at this time in the morning. I peer out my open door. Nobody is awake yet, and lets leave it that way.
I tiptoe out of my bedroom and down the hallway, into the bathroom. Slowly and carefully, I close the door behind me, careful not to make a sound. I approach the mirror, studying my reflection.
My skin is a pale, pasty colour, with the slightest hint of a tan. My eyes are a deep brown, almost black, and have always been said to be my best feature. I used to think so too, until I realised how plain and boring they are, which means I must be even more so if they are the part of me that stands out to others. My long hair is parted in the middle, it's a white-platinum blode and suites me almost prefectly. I am quite tall, so while on most of my peers it would reach hip-length, on me it merely meets at the bottom of my rib-cage.
I have on a dark green over-sized sloppy joe, and my hair falls down my sides in a messy masterpiece.
I look myself in the eyes, and speak.
"You look like a mess, you fat bitch."
I close my eyes, and open them again. What was just before a glare and a scowl has now become a smiling face, ready to take on the day.
