All I Want. {Sequel Mr. Mendes}

Meeting Again.

Alexis.

"Alexis," his calm voice said and I didn't know how to respond.

It was really him.  The man I loved was sitting right in front of me, and my mind was just spinning.  I never thought I would ever see him again, but I was wrong.

He looked at me with the same way he would look at me when we were together.  I moved away to get away from him, but now that purpose has just exploded.

I didn't know what to do but to just look at him.  It was really him.  After all these years, he still hadn't changed. 

As much as I wanted to say something to him, I couldn't.  Because I knew what would come out wouldn't be words, it would be me sucking his face off.

I could feel my barrier start to shatter as I just stared at him.  I knew I was starting to go weak.  I was giving into him like I always did in the past.

"Alexis?" His voice rang through my head again and he waited for me to respond.

"I-it's really you," I managed to get out and he just smiled.

"And it's really you," he mumbled and I nodded.

"In the flesh," I said and he smiled.

He looked at me, and I knew he wanted to say something.  He moved over to let me sit next to him.  I hesitated at first, but of course, I gave in.

"So what brings you to New York?" I asked, breaking the silence between us.

"Work actually," he mumbled and I nodded.

"Sounds fun," I said and he smiled.

"What about you? What brings you to the 'Big Apple?'" He smirked which made my heart skip.

"Well I've lived here for awhile just wanting a change I guess," I said and he nodded.

"So this is where you went?" He questioned and I nodded.

"I just thought I needed a change," I said and he nodded.

"Well have you changed?" He said and I just shrugged.

"I don't know, I mean people say I did, but I don't feel different," I said and he nodded again.

"Well on the outside you're the same but on the inside...has anything changed?" He questioned and I shook my head.

"Not that I know of," I said and he smiled.

"Well how have you been then?" He asked and I smiled.

"Good I guess, I mean I finished school early at NYU, and now I'm here,"  I said and he nodded.

"How about you? Anything exciting in your life? Or anyone I should say?" I asked and realized what I had just asked.

"Um yeah, my life is good, and um that's all actually," he mumbled and I nodded.

"No details?" I questioned and he shook his head.

"Not that I know of," he said and I nodded again.

"So you haven't had any other people in your life?" I questioned and he didn't say anything.

"Not since you left," he mumbled and I looked down at my hands.

"Shawn," was all I could manage out. 

I didn't know what to say only that I was hurting inside.  It's not because I'm remembering everything he caused me, but because I'm falling for him again.

In my head it felt as if I had been waiting a hundred years for him, and I know that I'd able to wait a million more.  My heart grew every second for him.  I wanted him, but I couldn't have him.

Nothing prepared me for this, so now I have to face it on my own. 

"Why? If you don't mind me asking," I said, breaking myself away from my thoughts.

"Because I knew I could never move on from you.  No other person could change how I feel about you," he said and my stomach fluttered.

Don't fall for it Alexis.  You're smarter than this.

"Can I be honest with you about something?" He asked and I nodded.

"Every single night I think about you.  I wonder where you are in the world.  I wonder if I had you in my arms I would be alright.  I thought about you every night and the reasons to why I love you."

I force my head to turn my head away from him, trying not to show him how much this was breaking me.

"And Alexis, moving on from you feels like a sin.  It feels as like if I ever did, I would be crushed into something different.  It's like I'm tethered to you every since I first met you," he said and I turned my head back to him showing him my tears.

"Shawn I-" he cut my off by shaking his head.

"You can't be with me anymore, but we can still try to be friends right?" He questioned and I nodded.

"Friends," I finalized and he smiled, but it was a weak smile.

"Well friend, I should get going.  If you want, there's this concert I'm going to tonight, you should really come," he said and took a slip of paper out of his pocket.

"Thank you, but I think I'll have to pass," I said and he shook his head.

"Just think about it okay? Front row seats," he assured me and I smiled.

"I'll think about it," I mumbled and he nodded.

"Alright, see you around then Alexis," he said and walked off.

As he left, my heart began to ache with each step as he got further and further away from me.  I knew what was about to happen.  I didn't want it to, but my body was telling me that it needed to.

I was falling for him all over again.