The Fall

Dean usually didn't get up this early, only when he dated Castiel. He swore that guy never slept. Castiel would always be awake long after Dean went to sleep, and be awake before Dean in the morning. Dean would always wake up to the sweet smell of coffee and Castiel moving about the kitchen attempting to make breakfast. Dean would eventually come out to take over for him. As much as he loved him, Castiel couldn't cook for shit. 

Now Dean was left with a silent house. Sometimes he would sleep until two or three in the afternoon and not realize, or not care. Sometimes, on days like today he would wake up at five in the morning and go out side to watch the early morning glow.

 Today Dean had gotten up at the early time of four am. He decided to take a walk, attempting to keep his mind off the fact there was no more smell of coffee, no more sounds of Castiel moving around the kitchen and getting egg shells in the eggs as he cracked them into a bowl. Just the loud noise the Impala getting hit by the other car.  Dean swore he had never heard a more piercing sound. 

The other driver was drunk when it happened, but he had gotten away with everything. Castiel was dead and this bastard was still living his life. The man never even told Dean he was sorry or looked him in the eye while in court.

As Dean stood in the middle of the bridge leading to the park a few blocks away from his house, he watched the sun rise. He didn't know when he stopped, but he didn't know why he did much of anything anymore. 

Every once in a while if Dean closed his eyes and really concentrated he swore he could still hear Castiels voice floating through the wind. He deep hello that Castiel would always offer him. Sometimes Dean needed Castiels voice, to get him going, but today he just needed everything about Castiel to disappear. 

As Dean forces himself to move once again he walks into the park and goes to the bench, the bench where he first met Castiel after a long night of him fighting with his ex Lisa. At that moment he never thought what the next two years of his life would be, but even with all the hurt head never would have gone back.

Dean slowly moves to sit on the bench and watches the shadows of the trees fall as the sun rises higher. He almost looks to the left, he almost searches for the familiar dark hair on the top of Castiels head, but he holds himself back. He knew he wouldn't find what he was looking for. 

When everything first happened, Dean would go through days telling himself that it was a lie. That Castiel wasn't really gone, that he couldn't be gone. But as the days went by Dean eventually came to the truth that Castiel just wasn't coming back. 

He was just left in the summer heat, with no one to claw their way through it with him. 




By autumn Dean hadn't improved at all.  It had been four months since Castiel had left him-Not left him. He had died, Dean still had to remind himself that Castiel was killed every once in a while, sometimes he liked to pretend Cas was still out there, alive and safe. 

At this point it was always to rainy to go outside, sometimes Dean did anyway but on this day his brother Sam happened to be visiting, along with his mother and father. Dean was sat at his kitchen table, dressed in Castiels favorite light blue sweater, watching as the rain fell on his window pane as Sam told their mother and father about Stanford and how him and Jess were getting very serious, Dean had tuned him out once he started talking about Jess. Of course he was happy for his little brother, he only wanted the best for him. But when ever Sam went on ramblings about Jess  it only made Dean think of Castiel. It made him think of the crash and how Dean held Cas in his arms, begging Castiel to stay with him as Castiel said goodbye, as he told Dean to go on and have a happy life without him. Dean had watched the tears slip down Castiels face as the life drained out of the only person he had ever truly loved.