Secret Santa

Part I

As a child or as an adult, I never believed that winters can be dull or sad. As the year extends his hand to say a goodbye, winters promises to take along all the sadness of the past and bring a beautiful new present. Very clearly Christmas and New Year’s Eve were my most awaited events in a complete calendar. Even today as a full grown man I find my same delight of enjoying winters but with Kido, my son Kido. Quite gladly I witnessed the same amount of excitement in him for the winters that once I had when I was almost of his age and in silence I was pleased to admit that heredity didn’t disappoint me! On Kido’s upcoming 7th birthday I had decided and pre-ordered a very expensive remote controlled toy car online, when suddenly I remembered of gifting him something priceless! Just when I was about to shut down my laptop, don’t know exactly why my eyes took a quick glimpse of the very old blue suitcase that was garaged on the top of the almirah. That one glimpse of a moment made me motionless for the next few minutes and my brain had transported 31 years back to the time where I was just like my own Kido.
My father had a transferable job and thus I and my family of only three members kept moving from place to place. It was the year 1985 and we were staying at Dehradun. I was 6 years old and a wanderer of the nature. Back then it was a beautiful time of a wooden house, big fern trees, hilly lanes and Chhotu. Chhotu was the son of our cook Madhav and was 15 years old. Very frequently he used to come to our house and rapidly there was a full grown beautiful friendship between us. To me he was my Chhotu bhaiyaa and to him I was ‘Bhole’, a name that was given on his study of my looks! Madhav couldn’t afford to send Chhotu to school, so later on almost the entire day after I returned from school, Chhotu bhaiyaa kept a constant company with me till he left with his father in the evening. Sometimes I felt it a moment of pride to teach him names of various birds and animals from my books and as a very obedient pupil he listened to every silly things that I made him learn. As a 6 year old, the feeling of imparting knowledge as a Guru was something huge and a very poor representation of that while sitting on my class teacher’s chair in the school, had cost me a parent call and flying chhappal!
Waking up one morning when I felt the chill on my skin after a long time, I knew it was time for winters to come in. The very thought of approaching winters filled in me with glee and joy. Running home back form school I went up to Chhotu bhaiyaa and with a panting breath I exclaimed,
“Chhotu bhaiyaa, you know winters are coming! This is November starting. Next is December. You know how exciting every Decembers are!”
Chhotu replied in a very questionable tone, “Really? But why? Every year winters come and go what is so special about this year?”
“What are you talking about Chhotu bhaiya? Don’t you know it is the time of Christmas and my Santa will be coming with gifts and chocolates!” my thrill and excitement was at the peak of my every word.
“Santa?” asked Chhotu. “I know about Christmas but what and who exactly is Santa?” are you talking about a giant red man with a big bushy beard?”
“Yes! Yes! Yes! I am talking about him. He is Santa Claus. How come you know so less about him? And why aren’t you excited?” puzzling with questions I had never thought of any being on earth of not knowing about Santa. So once again I was his Guru and told him everything about Christmas and Santa that a 6 year old could explain. The very idea of surprise gift in a pair of socks was as new as a world to an infant for Chhotu bhaiyaa. Adding to my already pre-booked excitement for Christmas was now even much more happiness to get a company for decorating my favorite Christmas tree. As days passed by, my patience seemed decreasing each day. Every single day ended in pre planning decorations and shopping for Christmas in my brain.
It was one week left for Christmas. Sitting in a high chair I was looking at my mother baking a lovely strawberry cake. My both mouth and heart were both delighted to see all these, when suddenly the phone rang. As an adult when I look back again at this moment it feels like a beautiful dream suddenly broken with a heavy thud of reality. I kept looking at my mother who quickly wiped her hands to pick up the dialer. Suddenly the entire room that was shining with stars of happiness felt like getting dark with each star falling off. My mother looked puzzled, shocked and within seconds her voice started trembling and she broke down crying aloud. I ran quickly towards her to ask what was wrong but my ears only heard her helpless crying for hope and help. She made me aside and went inside her room. After sometime she was dressed to go out and called up madhav to come home immediately. As soon as Madhav and Chhotu bhaiyaa arrived, my mother left me with them and went out. As a 6 year old I was left aback with questions that made my brain heavy and all the happiness that I bored in my heart seemed to have vanished all away. Chhotu bhaiya tried to keep me engage with every Christmas item and Santa toys but I was somewhere lost, fallen from a sudden height and taking time to come back to my conscious state. Later that day what I knew was something that was beyond my levels of understanding but still I was made to believe that it was the last time I am seeing my father and after this moment he would be gone forever. The pain that I was suppose to go through was not even clear to me. I became all quiet and had no more questions to ask. As a 6 year old I was not prepared to admit how happiness can be so short lived for a human.
Few days later when it was a day before Christmas I sat alone at a corner all day. My mother tried her best to cheer me up but her burden of pain was even more. Chhotu bhaiya tried every possible way to make me smile but I was not ready somehow to retrieve back my happiness. I laughed at times but it was clearly not how I was laughing few days back. After completing my dinner it was bed time that was planned to be the most excited moment few weeks back. At 12’o clock I was half asleep when suddenly I heard bells ringing in my ear and a heavy voice saying,
“Ho, Ho, Ho! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!”
Rubbing my eyes, I tried hard to open my eyes but the heavy weight of tiring eyelids didn’t allow me to witness properly. In blinking eyes with a blurry vision what I saw was more of a dream than a reality. A bony and a mid height man wearing an oversized red Santa robe with a loose white half hanging bushy beard leaning on me and wishing me “Merry Christmas”. An exasperated voice unconsciously came out from my lips, ‘Baba? You came back? I always knew you are my Santa!’.
The reply that came thereafter was enough delightful to make me fall back asleep again but the next morning I know who was my Santa!
“Yes, Bhole I am your Santa! I gift you your lost happiness. Your Santa has never lost. He will forever love you. Keep believing in your own Santa Bhole!”
“Merry Christmas!”
It was Chhotu Bhaiya. The Christmas day started when I woke up to see a toy Santa put into my hanged socks. Later I knew it was gifted to me with a very minimal saving that Chhotu bhaiya has been doing since the day he knew about Santa. Few months later we left Dehradhun and shifted to Kolkata. But the priceless message of believing in a beautiful concept of Santa that secretly comes in our lives to spread happiness forever stayed close to my heart. When our life turns upside down and happiness seems to go far away from us for that brief moment we should always continue to believe that somewhere our secret Santa is waiting to arrive in our lives to give back our lost happiness.
Kido ran towards his most awaited gift from his father and didn’t wait to open the blue wrapped gift box that had his secret Santa toy which will forever secure his happiness even when I shall not be there! To me my secret Santa was my Chhotu Bhaiyaa about whom I have no clue where he is but the happiness that he gave me back in my life was once again present in the room in the form of a beautiful smile that was on my son’s face holding tightly onto his own Santa!