A Year Ago

Life is shrouded with the dark miasma of hatred, tragedy and mutiny that resides and haunts every individual. The cruelty overrides the fair justice of every soul within the planet, but why? Why was I the chosen one to undergo and witness such a catastrophic accident? My heart only desired the safety and protection of April. A year ago, my life changed; never to be replaced nor rejuvenated like the old times. I was the most content and grateful teenage boy, I was granted with such fluttery feelings of affection as April was the only girl I could ever come about to love. Everything about her, her smile, her laugher, she was flawless of any fault and was capable of submersing my heart within the lake of her love.
School was the most irritable place to ever go, as being ranked most popular triggered manifold of bothersome events. I had the looks, the personality and the ponderous pride, no one could ever or dared to hate me. I was positive that I could ever change the way I was, what I ever preserved, not until a year ago.

Today was the First day of Year ten, the most craziest and chaotic time of the year when you have an immense number of fan girls ganging up to you stuffing your face with love letters to unexpected confessions. Having to deal with all the tears and dreadful faces of all the rejected always stirred guilt within my heart, however none of them could be compared to my girlfriend, April. We first started dating since the start of 8th grade, after she made a unique appearance in front of me. She was different, she confronted me to raise a challenge of popularity, rather than the usual 'Let's Date.' Her weird but amusing strategies to surpass me in wise of popularity astounded me, entertained me from the boring lifestyle I had. My monotone life, grew colours and light as we began to come closer with one another. In the long run, she was the first, the first girl I ever came to the decision of asking her out and confessing my deep love towards her. She too was saved, saved from the grey monotone, simple and boring life of everyone; we raised a beam to each other's individuality. We both fell in love and became inseparable.

Her cheery and outgoing personality was advocated by the righteousness of desiring to help and protect everyone, jumping into fights before thinking twice. This aspect sprouted burdens of being worried, as consequently she would be the one hurt in the end. But I couldn't be angry with her, how could I? She looks as me with such a beautiful smile regardless of the pain that is inflicted towards her. She kept everything within herself, telling me everything was okay as she constantly smiled. I could never understand the smile she used, regardless of the horrific sadness and agony she maintained. Her smile that time when I entered her recovery room at the hospital, along with the brightness of the light, radiantly shining behind her; she was pure of a cleansed and sinless heart.
In contrast, I was stubborn and immature, I wasn't sure if I was worthy to be April's boyfriend but I wanted to be next to her, protect her with all the courage and strength I had; even to the point if I had to sacrifice myself. My promise, our promise to safeguard one another no matter what, was gone, dispersed in matter of seconds.

School ended, as I waited patiently in front of April's locker, preparing to walk April home in such devastating heavy pour of rain. I stood as I watched everyone else walk by, until I caught a glimpse of the glisten of her wavy hazel hair. Her smile was perfect as ever, as she greeted me with a kiss on the cheek

"How'd you cope with the tide of chaos? Crazy as ever yeah?" she giggled, referring to the overload of letters and confessions I received the following morning and lunch breaks.
"Believe me, I just wanted to kidnap you and have you all by myself for the day away from such bothersome people," She gave another little giggle as she stored her books in her locker.

"You haven't forgotten what day it is tomorrow, yeah?" She asked, giving me a little grin. I smirked, "How could I forget?" I replied like it was no biggie. "It's our year's anniversary of our relationship."
She turned around and hugged me, "This is why I love my adorable little boyfriend so much!" she said ending it with a peck on my lips.

I looked down at her gentle, fair face, her big sky blue eyes gazed at me, blanketed in happiness. I lightly embraced her tightly followed by a long kiss. She was the first to pull out, with her flushed face, she smiled.
"Be considerate Jay, I need to go home quickly today, My Auntie's coming back from LA."
I looked at her, smiled back and gave her a peck. "Well, regardless I'm still taking you home, I don't want you catching a cold in this heavy rain."

Whilst pulling my umbrella out, I ran towards the front gate to pay back April for not seeing me all day at school, without noticing by only focused to get back at her, I heard Aprils' cry.
"Run! Jay Run!"
I immediately turned around, to find April's beautiful curls in front of my face. As she lost her balance into my arms, I noticed another familiar student that had confessed the following morning.
She grabbed her head and shook it as she screamed, "it wasn't my fault!"
April feebly grabbed onto me, as something poked at the side of my hips.
Something hard but rubbery brushed against me as April fell onto the ground. The increasing amount of dark red surrounded April's fragile body, I could feel the expression of my face changing dramatically as I quickly grabbed her. The stench of bitter iron filled the air, as my shaking hands were now dripping too of the dark blood of April. The girl fell to her knees and started crying as I, full of fright I stared as the blood gushed out of her stomach, her uniform had been dyed in dark crimson red. The trembles got worse as thoughts of not being able to have April beside me anymore shattered me. I slowly moved my hand towards the Swiss pocket knife that was half embedded in her navel, as I rushed to cup her wound to prevent the liquid of death from pouring out. "April, April! can you hear me," my voice was squeaky. She slowly turned her face, so she could see mine as her eyes opened lifelessly.

"Jay...," she smiled at me. "You were my happiness and love... No matter what hardships that block your path, overcome them and continue on... I will always love you and will watch over you... " her voice quietly drifted off and she took her last breath. I sat there with Aprils' lifeless body, blood soaking up into my jeans.
My heart was engulfed by the terrors of losing April, she was gone.
I couldn't see her face anymore, as my tears and the rain covered my sight. Droplets of tears poured out of my eyes, as I yelled her name.

Ever since April died, I lost my fame, my pride and my confidence. Consumed by the sadness, manipulated by guilt I couldn't accept the fact April died. She could never die, she promised that we'll be together forever. Today was a year. Our year's first encounter, was replaced by April's Funeral. I sat thoughtlessly at home rather than attending the funeral; the rain was more dreadful than ever. The clouds thickened with black shadows as the rain incessantly pouring down. I blamed myself for the horrid event whilst locking myself in my room, sitting by the corner in the darkness. I couldn't protect her, never worthy to have her. Aura of depression consumed me from the amplified thoughts of gloomy memories.
I continued going to school as my parents forced me, no one came up to me, or even talked to me. I had changed. Changed into something I wasn't. The weather was melancholier than ever. I walked around the whole school, and memories of us replayed in every corner of the school, I had hallucinations of April. Her beautiful smiling face, shone gallantly. Tears rolled out of my eyes.

"If only you were still here."

Condescending, my parents yelled at me.

"When are you going to snap out of it?" my mum snapped. "It's already been a month."

"Let her go, if you keep getting pulled back by the past she won't leave peacefully," My father told me. "Move on, son."

I couldn't move on, I couldn't let her go. There was no way I could just forget about her. But I felt somewhere deep inside me that told me I had to let her go. A message from April? No, it couldn't be. The next day I walked to school and I stopped at the front gates. The time when April was stabbed replayed in my mind.

I couldn't help but cry in sorrow.

"Jay."

I looked up

It was Aprils voice, her last message for me.

"Continue with your life, share the happiness you offered me to others. You have potential..." She gave me a big smile and the illusion disappeared.

"Is that what you really want?" I shouted. "Do you really want me to move on?" tears rolled down my cheeks.

"Why?"

April's dying will, repeated itself in my head.

"Because, I love you." Whispered a soft gentle voice.

I wiped all my tears and I looked up into the sky, "I love you too."

"Let's breakup." I forced a smile.

E7O̷(<)v)