dirty desires; c. thomas howell

ONE

  

 
Don't ever trade friendship for orgasms. I was told that once. It's brings intense challenges that almost never work out. You'd never look at your friend the same way again. The outcome could either be really awful or very worthwhile. You could be left with feelings that are not mutual. Then, well that's the end of it. There isn't a reverse button you just have to deal with it. In my case, that would be eleven years of friendship gone down the drain.

    I met Thomas in first grade. He's learned my deepest secrets and dreams. In eleven years, we've gone through parent's divorces, crushes, and breakups. We'd stay up till four in the morning crying over the phone to each other. He's never let me down. We are stumbling together through life, hand in hand. It's blows my mind how I survived before I met him. To lose him would be the end of me.

    I thought I would never want Thomas in that way. Boy, was I wrong. These magical changes started happening. Like the way he speaks and how he looks. Then, I started changing too as well. Not just physically, but mentally too as well.

     It all started a few weeks ago. Thomas and I were alone in my room. It was normal for him to come over to my house after school to finish homework or even talk about random things. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. This was until he needed an eraser, which was on top of my bedside table.

If only all my troubles had been prevented. He could've just walked around the bed or even asked me to get him for it, but that is evidently is too much work for him.

He rolled on top of me, causing my breathing to halt. I don't know if it was because of the close proximity between us or his body crushing mine. I picked up a pleasant scent of lavender and oak trees. When he was reaching for the eraser, his nose brushed mine. I could feel my face flush and a wave of intense energy flow through me. Our eye contact lingering for a few seconds.

"Um, I think you're crushing me." I spoke up, quietly. My voice sounding shaken. He just laughed and went back to what he was doing before. Almost as if nothing had happened.

Alright, I know it might seem silly to be so worked up over nothing. Now that I think of it I sound just like a third grader. It's just, for a small moment, it felt like everything. I actually felt an urge to kiss him in that moment. An urge that can't really go away. Before, I thought he was super gross. I could never want someone of his kind. I'm talking about brother material. The one who had shoulder to cry on, which soothed me in a way that a girl's didn't. You'd think you wouldn't want to kiss your sort of brother?

I just wonder about what it would feel like to kiss him. How would he taste? Would I enjoy it? It's uncharted territory, which I'll never act on exploring. My own little secret. The only secret of mine that he'll never know.

A/N: There is so much sin about to happen.
coreyhaim came up with the idea of this story!