Tears And A Blinding Light

Tears

Blinding light. That was one of the few things the two most life changing moments of my life had in common. The first moment was on a beautiful sunny day in April- Oh! Wait, they had me crying in common too, except for different reasons, obviously. Anyway, the second moment was on a rainy day in May, it was cold and wet, all you could hear was the wailing of babies, medical machines beeping, the pitter patter of rain, and, of course, my heart wrenching sobs. These moments seem so far apart in time, but really, there was only a few days between the happiest day of my life and the day I died inside.

April 29, 2PM. Cheering, clapping, laughing, those were all I could hear as we rushed through the church doors, Tony carrying me bridal-style. I was so happy, I laid my head back on my new husbands chest and closed my eyes to block out the blinding sunlight as he climbed into the limo, still holding me.

As the car started to take off, I climbed over onto my own seat, and started taking my long amber hair out of the carefully woven bun, slipping off my high heels as well. When I looked over to Tony, I saw he already had his emerald eyes fixed on me, when we made eye contact, he whispered to me, Ari, can you believe it? Were married now. We are officially Mr. and Dr. Santino now. Tony and Arietta Santino. He said all of that with a look of adoration on his cleanly shaven face, I reached over and layed my head down on his shoulder, humming contently. I looked into the car mirror and saw that there was thick black streaks vertically down my cheeks, my mascara must of started running when I teared up during our vows. I look like a panda, but I cant find it in myself to care, I'm just too excited to start my happily ever after with Tony, my husband, my soulmate.

May 3, 4PM. It smelled sharply of disinfectant here. There is already a small garden of flowers from our friends and family in the room, adding a scent of pollen. Its extremely cold in here, I would curl up next to Tony if he wasn't already colder than the room. His hand hanging limp and pale in mine will forever be etched into my mind. As will the cold, empty, distant look in his eyes when the doctors called it as they say, Time of death, 10:37AM, were so sorry for your loss, Mrs. Santino. If Tony were alive he would've corrected them, saying it was Dr., Dr. Arietta Santino. He would have then smiled at me, like he has every time he's done that in the past 4 days. But he isn't. Not anymore. My eyes are closed, its so overly bright in here, stupid fluorescent lighting. I should open my eyes, I must seem rude, there's a doctor talking, but I'm not listening, I'm not even sure I'm still alive. All I feel is Tony's limb, dead hand in mine. All I see is the light in his eyes fading away.

I know I should open my eyes, but I know that if I do, Ill see him. Ill see all the people there who want to take him completely away from. The people who want to cut him open, even though I already know what killed him. Debris to the frontal lobe of the brain, I think some glass too. He was driving, the car hit his side. I should of been driving, I should be dead. Not Tony, never Tony.

I only learned one thing from this experience; Never believe fairytales, because even after you find and marry your Soulmate, happily ever after is still just a myth.

These two days only have two thing in common in my opinion; That beautiful, eminent sunlight, and that awful blinding artificial light. And last but not least, my tears. But this time, they come with sobs.

The End....