I'm leaving today
'cause I gotta do what's best for me
You'll be ok...
I've got to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
We might find our place in this world someday
But at least for now
I gotta go my own way
(High School Musical 2: Gotta Go My Own Way- Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron)
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Crash.
The sound of my heart shattering into millions of pieces was so ear-splitting and meticulous that I nearly covered my ears to drown out the deafening noises surrounding me in my head. All the worries once pushed far beyond my reach came rushing back by the thousands, attacking my brain mercilessly and blocking my ability to think clearly. To decide what I could do to escape the pain seemed too much like a challenge, so I allowed myself to slip and let the feeling overtake my soul.
My heart's been broken millions of times before, nothing new. Some heartbreaks were caused by my parents, others coming from failed relationships, even the kids from school had such an unexplainablempact on my mental state. But this one took such a toll on me because this girl has been with me since minute one of everything. My world started to crumble down more than it ever had before. The collection of tears built up in my eyes, making it hard to not let flow out of my head. The formation of a familiar lump started forming in my throat, making it extremely hard to breath. One after another, my body parts began to reflect my feelings on the outside. She couldn't leave me now.
This absolutely cannot be happening.
She can't just leave me here alone.
She can't.
She WON'T.
But, I knew she would anyway. Holding onto false hope wasn't the most beneficial thing. I still proceeded to do it anyway though because I was weak and stupid and I held onto what meant the most to me even though whatever it may be still had the right to fly away. And now, she would flap her wings and fly away too. And maybe I was overreacting; but when someone actually acknowledges your presence instead of looking at you like you're an untouchable, it means the world. And when that one person says that they're leaving, it tears you apart in ways you couldn't imagine.
Please don't go...
"My dad got moved to New York City into another corporate office and he wants my mom and I to live with there with him." She sighed, giving me a look of sympathy.
I instantly glared at her because she knew how much it didn't help. She tore her eyes away from me as a tear slid down her cheek. Another moment had passed before she lifted her head to look at me again. Many emotions flashed through her eyes-hurt, anger, frustration. Seeing them showed me it was just as hard for her as it was for me.
"I tried to convince him to let me stay here; especially with your mother, but he won't allow it. He suggested that you ought to call the p-"
"Don't tell me to call the police," I snapped with a tone containing so much vigor that it caused her to flinch as if she was in pain. As if you couldn't already tell, I was mad. I was having the worst day of my life. However, it still didn't stop me from recognizing what I did wrong. My eyes quickly widened at the recognition of my tone and immediately softened. I coughed and scratched the back of my neck awkwardly. "Sorry. But, you know why I can't."
