That Girl We Knew

o1 | b e t h

It has already started.

    Of course, that's not exactly an accident. She took her time getting ready, deliberating about what she would say, how she would act, reapplying her makeup over and over again. It wasn't about looking perfect, it was about looking different. She is no longer the tomboyish nerd with the weird haircut who's only friends were the other unpopular people. She has changed, and this is the night to show them.

    Her hair is tucked into a messy bun on top of her head, with hazel strands hanging down on either side of her face. Hair is a big thing with her. She cut it short when she was in middle school and didn't bother growing it out till she started getting teased in high school. Now it reaches halfway down her back, and she takes half an hour every morning brushing and straightening it. She's scared that people will make fun of her again if she doesn't.

    Tugging at the hem of her dress, she steps forward to sign in. She thought that the bright yellow sundress would show them how little of a tomboy she was, but now she is beginning to regret it. She feels silly, as if she is trying to hard to fit into something she will never fit into. The way she always feels whenever she tries to change for them, like a puzzle piece that is being shoved into the wrong spot. It's too forced.

    The first time she really felt that way was on a sophomore class trip. The whole class spent half a week in a youth hostel near a lake. Since they left right after a two week holiday she hadn't seen any of them for that long and planned on wowing them all with her new image. But when she walked up to the parking lot where they were meeting in her high waisted jeans and black crop top, with a suit case full of clothes she didn't need, she felt silly. The girls were standing in a group, chatting and laughing. She could have gone over there, said hi, and joined the conversation. That's what Juliet M. did. But she was too scared. Afraid that she would make a fool of herself in front of Dakota, the only girl that really mattered.

    Dakota. To Beth, she was perfect. Still is. She had a way of making Beth feel like everything was going to be fine. With just a single smile or blink of the eyes, an entire days worth of trouble could be erased. Beth was once addicted to her. She needed her to get through the day.

    That day, as she watched Dakota with all her friends, things were different. She knew that those would be her final few days with her, her last chance. Dakota was set to go on an exchange trip in Germany for a year. She was leaving after the summer holidays. Beth wasn't able to imagine what life without Dakota would be like. She didn't think she would survive.

    She survived, obviously. It was hard, but she made it. She graduated, and now she is here, about to face all the people she hasn't seen in ten years or longer.

    The 'Class Of 2017' banner is pinned right above the entrance, surrounded by a whole ton of streamers and balloons in the schools colors, white and blue. She chuckles to herself at the thought that this is supposed to be a happy event. A reunion. The only way this won't be ending with her in tears is if Dakota is there, single, and ready to fall into her arms.

    Beth steps forward and wraps her hand around the polished white doorknob attached to an impressive set of white lacquered double doors. The minute she pulls them open, she's engulfed in a blanket of sound. Popular pop songs are being played on a stereo at the back of a room, there's an open bar on her right and glass doors open out onto a patio with a barbecue on her left. There are people everywhere. Dancing, eating, talking, drinking. Some of them she recognizes right away, others require a second glance, some she wonders if she has even met them before.