The Passion of a Kindred Spirit

I was born. I breathed, ate, and slept next to my two sisters and that was my life until I opened my eyes and my ears became unsealed. My first steps were wobbly and horribly inaccurate, inconsequential to the indifferent world. I remember my first moons of life through the words of my mother.

“A small weak son was born to me. Oh great StarBear how is he his father’s son? He is unfit to be a bear; his spirit is that of a mouse.” She ignored me, yet still fulfilled her duty to teach me to survive. Her name was Thunder, my eldest sister so alike that the forest called her Lightening, for they were both cold and uncaring and they were defined by strength alone. My youngest sister was small and frail and when she opened her eyes and still couldn’t see my mother roared in such a fury that Grandfather Cedar shook to his roots.

My youngest sister’s name was Quickstep, and my mother was surprised to find that though

Quickstep was blind she was surprisingly quick and hardly ever tripped, her hearing so perfect that the slightest change alerted her to her surroundings. Her sense of smell was better than a hounds. All her heightened senses still could not save her though, because in the end, she still left this world for the bridge to the stars.

It was our first spring thaw after the long sleep, and my mother was aggravated by the fact that Quickstep was alive. I was eating roots and berries when I heard the screech. It was pain, and loss of hope, desperation, it was a sound that at that moment pierced my heart. And as I moved towards that sound I already knew in my heart what had happened.

I stepped at the graceful river that was covered in thin ice and saw a dark shape scrabbling under the ice. It was Quickstep, and her breath would be lost soon so I had to get there quickly. I stepped gingerly on the ice and made my way to Quickstep, her movements had gotten slower and weaker as she lost her strength. I began to claw furiously at the ice with my front paws. Urgently is-was myself, my being at that moment. Quickstep was the only light in our dark den, she was hope, though she didn’t have a cause to have, or be, any. It is what she is. She stopped moving beneath me, just as my left paw was impaled on a chunk of ice then broke through into the cold, cold water. I reached for her as she began to sink, her eyes were closed, and I was able to hook my claws in the scruff of her neck and I hauled her head out of the water, my muscles taught.

She was limp, unmoving, no breath left in her and I was weak. For the first time in my life I saw myself the same way my mother and sister saw me; weak, small, insignificant, worthless. I couldn’t even save my sisters life. Tears filled my eyes and I shook my head becoming determined. I latched my jaws onto her scruff taking my left paw and digging it into the ice as I pulled. My vision turned red as time stopped making way for my anger and frustration at my sister who was still lifeless. I was in a world of red and emotion where nothing could reach me and when I was back from this world I found myself on the bank of the river with Quickstep beside me.

I looked at her unmoving body of beautiful brown fur like chestnuts, what once was glittery and vibrant is now dull and lifeless. I nuzzled her face inhaling her scent one last time and froze, Lightning, her scent on Quickstep’s shoulder. I lifted my head into the air finding scents and coming to a conclusion. Lightening had been here when Quickstep fell through the ice. Whether or not Lightening was the cause of this was unclear.

At that moment my heart began to harden towards them. My sister, my mother, both didn’t ask about Quickstep when I returned to them, alone. It was probably their fault. I didn’t return to that river for moons, even when the salmon returned I stayed in the forest. Lightening and my mother called me coward for it but they never even tried to hurt me.

 After Quickstep died I grew. I surpassed Lightening in strength and size and my mother approved. I became silent, practically mute. I listened and learned, I made myself stronger both mentally and physically. I vowed by my sister’s body that I would protect all cubs and keep them form a tragic fate. So I ate, trained, and listened. Until the day I could leave my mother.