Short Story Assignment

Roommate

(Hey Cookies! This is a short story assignment I wrote last year in class (Sep. 2016). We had to write a flashback story on a life changing event and the lessons it taught us. My friends loved it so much that they really wanted me to publish it so people struggling or going through similar situations can know they are not alone :-) if any of you ever just need to talk I'm here. Anytime at all. So....here I go I guess! Enjoy!)

Sunshine, laughter, and friends is what most people think about when you think of being a kid, but sadly for me that was not the case. Mornings at my friend Jordyn's are the best. We sit in her cozy living room eating breakfast on the floor, while watching are favorite shows when she gets up to use the restroom. Jordyn and I have always wanted to live together.Whether it be they adopt me, we go to college together or we are grown up living in our own home together. Being her roommate has always been my dream. The word roommate though, reminds me of a interesting story. I think as I wait for Jordyn to get back from the restroom.

~P.o.v flashback~

As Jordyn and I sit and watch our favorite shows I feel as though something is missing, something is wrong. I have had this feeling for a little while now and I sort of just ignore it but I notice it all the time. I figure nothing of it and go on with my life as usual. Then as time goes on, as we watch our show, I come to realize that i'm not enjoying myself very much. I had no idea why because I loved these shows, but I wanted to stop watching them. Then I suggested that we play outside, we did, but then I came to realize I was not happy then either. I keep it to myself.

Im home and all I am feeling lately is, well, nothing. That was the problem. I'm isolating myself slowly, I see it. I don't like the things I used to like before, and my brain is foggy like on a cold winter's morning. Constantly shutting people out and shutting down was now what I was good at. I don't care about my grades, my brain tells me its pointless anyway. I can no longer sleep as insomnia sweeps me off my feet and holds me in his arms. I no longer have an appetite for the food I use to crave, I feel physically ill when I know i'm not sick, and I no longer care for anything. I am a large lifeless doll. Simply going through the motions as life goes on. Not knowing why I feel this way.

I'm not really who I am anymore at this point and i'm kind of making myself scared inside. All I could think about was "what's wrong with me" and "oh boy are you pathetic." I felt worthless, like a piece of garbage and I got agitated very easily. It was like their was someone else inside my head with me. Like my head was an apartment that's rent is too high and I can't pay just to find out it's been payed, whatever it is, it's evil. It wants me out! Oh yes I know it wants me out! I just don't know if I should follow their orders? At this point I don't care anymore, and I sit, I watch, and I wait.

Facebook is my new friend at this point, and the things that I have been posting had not been happy ones. I followed new groups, depressing and scary groups. I knew the things I had shared from those groups had not been happy ones, but I did not think anything of it. I just thought it was a phase. At this time, I have isolated myself from all of humanity, making sure I abbreviate my time with anybody.

I know Jordyn's mom and how she would act if she found this out so I blocked her on Facebook, but she just used Jordyn's account to look at my account. I don't even know why I blocked her. I guess I was afraid, but I didn't know what I was afraid of. When I went over next, she asked me about why I blocked her, and I was speechless, I did not really know what to say at this time. I was so socially awkward that I did not know what to do. Then she called me into her room.

Jordyn's mom sits on her bed, but I stay standing. She says that she could see the stuff that I have been posting and that she is not stupid. She simply asked me why I blocked her as I replied with an "I don't know." She looks at me and says with a pitied look in her eyes "you act so strong all the time" I nod, she continues. "you try to put on a strong front when really you just want to be a kid, don't you?" I nod, she continues "but sadly you did not have the choice of just being a kid." I felt emotions so strongly at this moment, it hurt, immensely, because I had not felt anything for so long. It was so powerful. I was crying, I was mad, and I was emotional. Then she said to me in a calmingly nice voice, looking me in the eyes, "you're depressed aren't you?" I started crying the hardest I have ever cried, but it felt good? I nodded my head in despair at the woman in front of me.

My family life has never been the best but I never used to let that bring me down, but in my current condition, It only made things for me worse! Even when good things happened, I should be happy right? I wasn't happy. Why wasn't I happy. I must be a freak, because I should be happy.

The next month I go to the doctors, and he confirms that I have depression and anxiety. I started on this new medication with a really long name that I learned to pronounce but quickly forgot as I was constantly switching medications. About six months pass and I didn't really think I had gotten all that better. Then a little more time passes. I have been on this medication called Bupropion for a little while now and a few others for different reasons. I'm not fully myself, but i'm better. I can finally eat a little, and maybe a few hours of sleep. I talk and hang out with my friends a little more. Slowly but surely I got a tad better.

It's now that last few weeks for my eighth grade year! Finally! Now guess what? I have made the 3.5 Honors Roll, I got the Marsha Hoffman's most improved student award, I went the whole year without getting a single citation, I even made two friends Madelyn and Ting Ting. I also worked enough to be able to go on the class trip to Washington D.C.---I was glad that I had started to make enough money for my own rent.---

I hear the water running in the bathroom before Jordyn emerges from the bathroom and I come back to reality. She comes back to the living room and smiles as she asks what I was thinking about. I smile back tell tell her it was nothing. We go back to watching Blue Exorcist and laughing at how dumb Rin is, and how weird and idiotic his brother is. Laughing and smiling together like a bunch of fools.

I just think back now on what a life changing event this was for me and think of everything that I went through. I learned a big lesson, the biggest lesson I would probably ever learn. I learned to not give up on myself, and that i'm always going to be ok. Depression is hard yeah, it's tough, but once you pull through the worst of it, it will be ok. I remember thinking back on how I thought my life was meaningless, thinking I am not loved, and i'm just worthless garbage. It's not true. I know that now. Even when the only thing that was going through my brain were things like "I don't know how much longer I can take this I need the pain to stop" and "Would this all just be better if I was just gone?" I kept pushing, I kept striving, hoping to get better. As I abate my depressing thoughts and quit being so abase towards myself, I am better now, but i'll never be the same. I have forgotten who I was before depression, and I can't go back. All I can do now is try to mold myself into someone I wish to become and raise it up into something great. Something unimaginable. I will never forget the lesson my roommate depression taught me and still teaches me.

(Thank you for sticking it to the end! It really means a lot to me. I hope you enjoyed. Don't forget to vote, comment, follow, and check out all my other content as it uploads. Goodbye Cookies!)