Why do people find it so hard to believe that some people in this world aren't happy? Some people suffer, some people cry themselves to sleep, some people take pain out on themselves, some people want to end it all. Its not only the druggies, or the emos, it's not only in the sad movies, it's reality.
To be honest, it sucks being unhappy, I'm unhappy with constantly being unhappy. Everyday I try my hardest, but I still find myself on the verge of tears.
My friends don't know how unhappy I am, they see me laughing, and smiling, and joking, but they don't know that it's all an act.
Sure I seem happy, but nobody really knows what's underneath the surface.
On the outside my life seemed pretty cool, a had a few friends, descent grades, I guess my fashion was okay, kind of grunge I suppose. Home was a different story, my parents didn't give a shit about me, they barely bothered to buy food, they spent most of their time arguing, and yelling at each other and everyone else.
As they yelled, I would usually try to stay out of it, my sister and I would just hide in our room and try to block it all out.
They would yell at each other over the most ridiculous things, probably because they were drunk most of the time.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" My dad would yell.
"WHAT THE HELL DOES IT LOOK LIKE, IM TRYING TO PUT CLOTHES AWAY!" My mother would yell, slamming her fist down on the dresser.
"NO, YOU ARE TOUCHING MY SHIT, GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OF MY SHIT YOU WORTHLESS WOMAN!" My dad would yell back, slamming his fist down harder on the dresser.
Their voices so loud they seemed to shake the walls. My sister and I would just huddle together and wait for it all to end.
Sometimes it would, sometimes they would part, slamming doors as they went, and sometimes they would come into our room.
Once, after one brawl, my mother burst into out room.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?" She slurred, leaning against the doorframe.
My sister and I exchanged nervous glances.
"We don't need anything," I tried to say as calmly as I could.
She released the door, and stumbled into the room.
"What the hell did you say to me you worthless piece of shit?"
She crouched down, so she was at my eye level.
I pulled my knees up to my chest as if it would offer some protection.
"Nothing mother." I kept my eyes on the floor.
She pressed her lips into an evil drunken smirk, "That's what I thought you said," she stood up, and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind her.
