Running low

1.

'Weeks on end, I'm on the road

I started to lose my sense of home'

Being away from home is hard. Especially when you give the word 'home' a meaning. With you I feel safe, loved, and protected. I hate that I spend so much time away from you. I also hate that with all this time apart we're becoming distant. Slowly you're no longer home to me anymore.

'I should've called so many times but I,

I just sat next to my phone'

I know I said that long distance would work between us but lately I haven't felt the same. I know that I said I will always call you when I can and text you whenever but I just don't see the point anymore. We just have simple boring conversations. What happened to those deep talks we always had? What happened to you telling me random jokes? What happened to you randomly telling me that you love me? What happened to just enjoying each other without saying anything? What happened to us? I miss everything we used to be.

'Just know it takes it from me

To end this, oh'

Camila. Fuck I've always loved your name. I love everything about you. I love the way you would make a stupid joke and laugh at it for a long time.  I love the way you scrunched your nose when you were deep asleep. I love the way you would hang onto me like your life depended on it while we watched a scary movie. I love the way you payed close attention to the things around you. I love the way you would always help someone no matter what. I love the way it felt to hold your hand because your hand feels so right with mine. I love the way that no matter what you just want me, or anyone, to be happy. I love the way you would be defensive over me whenever someone said something negative towards me. I love the way you would get jealous because it showed that you cared. I love the way that whenever I did come home you would wait for me and whenever you saw me you would hug me tightly and told me that you love me. I love the way that you would hold me whenever I felt that I wasn't enough. As I said before I love everything about you and I know I always will. It's time for someone else to love those things about you. It's time for someone else to love you better than I can.

'And I know you'll find someone who

Gives you the time I didn't give to you

I'm running low

I'm sorry but I have to go'

You deserve someone who will appreciate those things... someone who will love those things. It's time for you to go find someone else to make memories with. Someone you know you can have a future with but most importantly, I hope you find someone who will actually stay with you and do the same for you. I'm sorry. I know sorry doesn't cut it because this is random.

'And maybe I will never feel

You give me something so real'

I still believe you're the love of my life. It doesn't seem like it but you are. You're different from the rest and that's another thing I love about you. You actually cared about me and you always wanted what's best for me. Every time I thought nothing was worth it you showed me why it was. When I cheated on you last summer you still loved me and you showed it even if I did something terrible to you.

'Thinking back to every night

That we just laid there for a while'