He was a beast after all.
Gabe, I mean. Not physically, but after what he said about Vincent tonight, I think I should trust my instincts about Gabe this time. I know Vincent already convinced me before that he no longer sense anything "beastly" about Gabe, but who knows what meds he is taking to prevent Vincent and others to detect he still has cross-species DNA left on him.
I see Gabe is jealous of Vincent. I understand he feels threatened still having Vincent around. Gabe is a witness of my previous relationship and how strong it was with Vincent. So, I understand where he is coming from. But what he said earlier tonight... giving me a deadline... Uh... I think that was out of the line. It did not sound right.
I mean, okay. I am with Gabe now. I should not be around with Vincent anymore. Rule #1 after a break-up: Don't make friends with your ex.
After I shot Vincent, I was not trying to make friends with him. I almost killed the person for God's sake. Forgiveness was not on the list. I was more concerned and afraid of what my actions might have caused him. Remember, he can no longer heal himself. If I had killed Vincent... oh god.
I do not want to keep hurting Gabe, but at least he should trust me that I am "IN" our relationship. Yes, I had doubts but he made me trust him that he is not hiding anything from me and so I believed him. I just disliked when people tell me what or what not to do, who my friends are or who should not.
Vincent and I are starting this new friendship and I think we would like to make it work. Believe it or not, we work pretty well together, right? Besides the bantering and arguments, I really think Vincent and I, we are meant to be together. Working together, I mean. Uh! What am I saying?!
That is why I really felt bad with Gabe making the decision for me that Vincent has to go. This is my call if I would or would not cut Vincent out of my life completely. Is that what I really want though? Get totally Vincent out of my life?
Thank God it was just a dream.
... Or shall I say a nightmare. Although, I remember Vincent said he loves me. So, I can say it was not a nightmare after all. Okay, partly it was because I killed Vincent in my subconscious mind which I will never do in real life.
It was even an accident. I told Vincent to let me go, but he wouldn't so I kicked him and he hit his head on the counter. The image of Vincent laying on the floor with his eyes wide-open and blood coming out of his head... it was totally a nightmare.
How can I go back to sleep after that?
I went out of the bedroom slowly as I could not to disturb Gabe again. What time is it anyway? I grabbed my bag from the counter and checked my phone. Woah! It's 3AM.
"Hey, you okay?"
I smiled when I heard his voice.
"I'm sorry I wake you up. I know it's late, but..."
"No, no. It's fine. Why are you still up?"
"I couldn't sleep. I mean, I cannot go back to sleep. By the way, how are you after tonight?"
"Cannot go back? Why? You had a bad dream or something?" Ooppss. I made him worried. "By the way, I am okay. Thank you or asking." I heard Vincent, smiling this time. That feels good.
"Bad dream, nightmare, whatever you call it and yes, I had one, that's why I cannot go back to sleep." I sat on the couch pouting like a kid.
"Can you tell me about it? It might help you feel better."
Vincent lying with his own blood on the floor flashed over me. "No, no. You don't have to know. I'm better now."
"Are you sure?" He sounds disappointed.
"Actually, it's about you."
"Hmm. A nightmare and about me. I don't like the sound of it, but I'm all ears. Now, tell me."
He was still smiling and I like his humor lately.
"Well, I killed you." I said casually. "I don't want to elaborate further about how or why, but it was just a dream, a nightmare and I would never do that to you. I know I shot you once before, but I didn't..."
"Shh. It's okay, it's okay. I know you wouldn't." Vincent cut me off and I was shaking scared.
"You were right. I honestly feel better now."
"It was just a dream. Don't worry. I'm alive."
"Thank you for listening, Vincent."
"That's what friends are for, remember?"
"Right, right. Goodnight."
"Sweet dreams to you this time."
We all make mistakes. And I know Vincent is trying his best to make up for it. He sucks at making decisions, remember? I am sure he knows that. At least the person admitted that he made the wrong decision.
Would another chance be too bad to ask?
Gabe... looking at him asleep, can I tell myself I love him? I will always be grateful for his love and for being there for me, especially during my lowest point. So, does that mean I love him or is it because he was the one around when I lost Vincent? Yes, I do like him but... I cannot even remember if I already told him that I love him. Have I or would I even after those "beastly" words came out of his mouth and giving me an ultimatum?
I suddenly missed my place as I stared at the window. I can say that windows are one of my favorite stuff. It reminded me of Vincent and me - the times when we were happy together. I smiled at the thought of it. I think one more chance will be worth a try.
I will see you tomorrow, Vincent. Goodnight.
END.
