that small town coffee shop

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hi!! welcome to my oneshot book, i hope you like it!
tw: self harm mention, anxiety
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evan sat down across from connor, the small cafe tables leaving a short distance between them.
evan sighed.
"have you thought about what if we dont make eachother happy?"
connors heart dropped.
of course he had, he thought about how he would hurt evan and how awful he felt.
"you," connor took a deep breath, "you make me so happy.. i guess i dont make you."
connor couldnt think.
"but i obviously dont make you happy if youre always writing about how sad i make you" evan let out, and connor knew then that evan had been reading his journal.
"you dont make me sad" connor was terrified of what would fall out of evans mouth next.
"well i guess sometime you make me sad then," evan looked down, not wanting to see the hurt in connors eyes.
the taller boy knew this would happen.
"ye-yeah" he choked out
"ev, i, i told you that im toxic and that you would get hurt and that im bad for you," he ran a hand through his dark hair.
"it was only a matter of time before you realized." connor was breaking inside, more and more with every word said.
"i guess because when youre sad it makes me sad. and like when people at school were making fun of me and you just ignored me and i dont respond to you after being at school all day and then you seem all mad at me and then you write these quotes that are "just quotes" when really we both know they are about me and i genuinely feel like youre using me as a way to make me seem like im some horrible person and that im the reason youre sad"
and that was it. connor hated himself more than he ever had.
"evan i" he didnt know what to say.
"i told you im sorry about school i didn't realize that it would hurt you im just so used to them being like that towards me and i just,fuck, i never realized that it seemed like i was mad at you because i never was and yeah two of the quotes are about you and." connor couldnt look up.
"i-i dont know-im-you-you arent and i just-im a bad person-and-and im so fucking sorry" he was still looking down to his black jeans. he had a hand tightly gripped around his arm, aggravating the cuts on his wrist. he didnt realize he was crying until a teardrop fell onto his lap.
evan was silent for a few minutes before he piped up, his voice horribly ridden with anxiety.
"i w-as just thinking ab-about what to- to say and i really d-dont know what t-to say because this whole th-thing is confusing," he reached out to his untouched drink, taking a shaky sip.
"im so fucking sorry." connor whispered.
"m-me-t-too" evan stuttered out.
"no. you have nothing to be sorry about youve been nothing but good to me and i fucked up,"
breathe, connor.
"i fucked up." his voice had an underlying tone of anger to it. to himself. he was horrible.
"i- im still sorry b-because i- im no-t what y-ou need." evan said
"i cant b-be what y-you w-ant i guess"
"youre all ive ever wanted, ev" connors voice was barely heard.
"c-onnor i-i love you so much and nothing will change that but right now i think we should take a break from whatever we are. maybe itll help"
breathe, evan.
"o-ok" connor choked out
"it would be better for you because im hurting you!" evan let his voice raise.
"it would hurt me to be away from you," he put his head in his hands,
"but you need to get away from me. im hurting you."
evan sighed, "i dont know what to do."
connor looked at him, "get away from me.
im fucking horrible.
all ive done is hurt you."
"n-no! thats n-ot tr-true" evan tried.
"we both know it is." with those words, connor stood up and walked out of the small town coffee shop, tears running down his face.
he would give the boy what he wanted.
time away from him.
a long,
long,
time away.
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what a way to start, right?
hope you enjoyed
comment suggestions/other ships you want me to do!!

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