Sometimes all I want do to is isolate myself.
I want to cut myself off completely
And be left alone to be with my thoughts and my tears and my pain.
I don't want to have to explain myself to anyone.
I just want to be
And be alone.
Sometimes all I want to do is stop feeling.
I want to shut off the parts of me that hurt,
That care,
That love,
That hate.
I don't want to feel anymore happiness
Because it often gets turned into pain and sadness.
I just want to be
And be indifferent.
Sometimes all I want to do is die or, at least, come close to it.
I want to escape everything that I otherwise can't;
Like my own mind.
I don't want to deal with the stress and pain.
It gets hard to manage
And becomes tiring from the effort.
I just want to be
And be done.
It's funny though. . . Isn't is?
I long to be alone,
And yet
I fear being lonely.
I want to feel nothing
And yet
I love so wholly and easily.
I want to die
And yet
I love feeling alive.
I just want to be
And have it be easy.
We don't always get what we want though.
Do we?
