The Girl Who Waited ~ short story

The Girl Who Waited

   Have you ever been in a situation where a person takes an interest in you out of the blue? They begin to form a friendship with you to get to know you? Maybe throw in a few flirtatious comments, like offering to show you how to do something? You start to get the idea that they have a crush on you, then the butterflies flutter in your stomach every time they text or say hi to you in the halls at school.

At the beginning it doesn’t seem like much, just you and another person becoming friends, but eventually coming to the conclusion that you actually developed a crush on them. This crush isn’t a small minor crush, it’s one where you think you’ll end up being known as the high school sweethearts.

You know you have this crush, this amazing sensation that makes you feel like you can do anything, like you’re on top of the world and nothing can ever bring you down, but you don’t tell them. Instead, you wait for them to come to you while you act like they are just like anyone else in your school.You may act like they are a normal person but you are always thinking of the day that they will come up to you and confess their feelings to you. Maybe that day is the cliche Valentine’s Day when everyone seems to be obliged to spend it with their girlfriends or boyfriends. Or you just wait, expecting every day to be that one day: that one special day that will change your life forever.

You lie in bed every night dreaming of fairy tale situations. You never really fall asleep though, do you? Your mind is so busy thinking and imagining these scenarios, these fairy tales, that it can’t relax and you won’t fall asleep. I guess you didn’t notice the warning label on crushes, most people don’t, myself included.

You see, the thing about the fairy tales you make up in your head while waiting for that special person to come to you and open their heart, is that if you don’t show interest, if you don’t show any attraction, you can’t expect them to wait. Eventually people move on and find other people to hold in the lunch room, make funny faces to while they walk past each other in the halls, be the person you wanted to be in their company.

As they move on, you drift apart, two ships passing in the night, I guess. No more three hour conversations, no nervous smiles in the halls, no attention at all. You begin to fade from their life, like an old picture that is left in the back of a photo album, never looked at. You don’t want to accept the fact that they moved on, but you must. It’s not like you have the right to ruin their relationship just because you made the wrong choice of waiting.

Now instead of thinking about your fairy tales at night, you think of all the things you could have, and should have done differently. No more butterflies fill your stomach, just heart ache, and the sense of stupidity. Then you can’t take it anymore. You have to move on too, so you think of how long until I can truly be over this? Will it be a week? Month? Well, you see, I think that’s the wrong question to ask. The right question should be, will I ever be over this at all? The simple answer to that is no.

Time goes by, you get older, some people fade from your memory, but you can never forget that one person who made you feel special, like a one of a kind. Those feelings may have faded, but don’t think that they are gone. All it can take is one small photo or text message to make those memories flood your mind in an instant. And I have to tell you, that is the worst part when it comes to crushes. As these memories are in your mind, you begin to think of all the sweet moments you had with that person. Like the time they went out of their way to let you see their dog after school.

As you think, a knot begins to form inside your throat, eyesight becomes foggy from tears, and you ask yourself “Why? After all this time, why am I still sad every time I remember? Aren’t I over this yet?”. There you are, in your room, tearing up over something that happened so long ago, regretting your decisions and wishing you could go back and change them. That’s all you want is a chance to change the horrible and unforgettable past that haunts you to this day.

A few days, or maybe months if you’re lucky, pass and you make another dumb decision to look back at all the cute text messages you sent to them and they sent to you. Laughing at the jokes they told you and you told them. That too familiar knot in your throat forms again; do you ever learn? How many times do you have to lie awake at night with that dreaded knot filling your throat until you finally learn to stop looking at the past, wishing to change it, and forget? You see, you never really forget things; they just get pushed into the back of the brain, collecting dust until you bring it out again… only to bring out the pain with it. You are never truly over feelings, are you? Are they really sitting in the back of my brain?

But you must live your life too, so stop living in the past. Time does not wait for anyone; if you stop time will leave you behind and it is very hard to catch up with time. If you live in the past, you will miss every opportunity to live a great life in the past. So I say remember this: “We do not heal the past by dwelling there. We heal the past by living fully in the present.” ~ Unknown If you remember this, then you will live a beautiful life.

As life goes on, you don’t live in the past but rather the past lives inside you.  

Hope you guys enjoyed this short story and feel free to leave feedback! M'kay byee!