It Started Out With a Kiss

The Meeting

Shrek's POV:

The night had been fucking terrible. Everyone came into my swamp and I lost all my onions and Donkey and Fiona left me. All I have now is Jason Bourne... :(

After Fiona told me to pack my bags, I got on the train and went into the city. I was finally a free ogre. I couldn't wait to meet more sexy ogres, ones way better than Fiona, with bigger ears and nastier farts and bouncier tiddies.

I was walking down the street to a hot ogre party when suddenly I tripped over a big rock, "aw shet!" I yelled orgeily, grasping onto my knobbly knee. "That hurt like a mouldy onion!" I cried. ANYWAY, I got up and went on my way to the party, trying to forget about the awful pain in my poor knee.

Suddenly, I got a text from my room mate, Jason Bourne. He said to me that he go on a top secret mission to Transnistria to stop a drug cartel run by turtles and to stop the baddest turtles of them all; Mark. "Jesus Christ, Jason!" I said, "Please be careful, I can't loose you like I lost my onions." I was so worried, I'd already lost everything I couldn't loose Jason Bourne too.

Then I remembered something that my mother, Shralise, always said to me 'Šreks ēd dažus sīpolus un viss būs ogre', I made sure to remember that every single day. I missed her so much, I was heart broken when she died in 'The Onion Incident' . ANYWAY, I walked into the ogrelicious party to be greeted by loads of fit ogre tiddies.

"👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌th 👌 ere👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my selｆ 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠＯOOＯOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit" I thought to myself.

ANYWAY, the party carried on and I was getting off with a different ogre every 5 minutes. But, I needed a break from all the hoeing I was doing; the ladies just can't keep their hands off of me

ANYWAY, as I was sat down I looked over to my right and saw a buffet table. I usually didn't care for them because there was never any onions, people don't like onions like I do. But this time was different, it looked different, it felt different. It was different. Something drew me to that table, I didn't know what it was. What I did know, however, is that I couldn't leave without going over there.

I walked over to the buffet table, my ogre heart was pounding. I had no idea what was going to happen, I'd never felt like this before. I arrived at the table, my nose took me straight to the onions. They were INCREDIBLE. They were brown and crispy with the perfect amount of softness on the inside. As I bit into one it was like every feeling of love I had ever felt or received in one bite.

"You enjoying those, mate?" A mysterious voice asked.

I looked up from my plate and there he was, in all his beautiful glory.

Jamie

...

Oliver.  

A/N; So guys!!! This is the first installment of my new fanfiction!!!! I know this may seem like a joke but I'm very serious about taking this story somewhere and the budding romance between our 2 main characters. This story will mainly be from Shrek's POV, cus I think it will be more interesting!! HAHAHAHAH!!

I have plans for this to become the next twilight!!! <3 <3 #stephainemayereatyourheartout

Anyway, I love you guys so much and thanks for the support!!

hugs and kisses babies!!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO XOXOXO