hey
um
this is more like one big thing
because there's so much flying through my head right now
floating around like
lights?
some thought are just flickers
others are broad and blinding
and i just feel like i need to
clear the air
right now im listening to
he is we
and oh boy
firstly
i really miss you too, snow
luisa??
i should be over myself
over
you
but telling myself that over and over
im really just cornering myself
i said this before already
but i really need to empathize
when i was with you
it was
thrilling
and even at the time we don't recognize it
every moment was a magnet
drawing us closer and closer than we already were
everything was going fast
but in a good way
now im
still
watching everything hurl by me
others hitting me more than others
im between the past and the present and i don't feel
ok with it
like ever since i've deicded im
never
ever
coming back
i just
cry more often
sleep less
and stare at a wall for what seems like hours on end
but with a picture on it that you sent me
the one where were sleeping next to each other
and i just
love it so mcuh-
it's my favourite thing to look at now
like fuck you homework im busy
i really wished i couldve changed
i wish i just
could
because i want to talk to someone?
and i want that someone to be you
i want to pretend im holding you
and i want to pretend we're laughing, crying, or maybe even dying
but no matter what you're beside me