I promise

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I smiled to myself as the train trenched through the snow, the scenery outside looking more and more like a Christmas card. My first Christmas with out him. A hard one but I have the day to play for his memory. I didn't speak to Sirius since that day I was beaten. I did my best to avoid him at all cost and he never stopped trying to stay with me through it all.

The door to the carriage slipped open. I was alone as the girls went to get some treats for the journey home.
"I remember last Christmas, you sent me my very first Christmas card. I never had one before. Please send me one again" I didn't have to turn to discover the voice. It was like breathing to me. I knew it in a hard beat.

"I promise" I nuzzled my chin into my knees as I brought them up to my chest.
There was a silence. It was neither awkward or comfortable. It was floating, waiting to be picked up.

"On Christmas afternoon, there is the piano competition at the church just down our road. You know the one by the swings we used to pass each other by when we were small but didn't know each other. I'm playing that day." I didn't invite him. I merely mentioned it and he didn't respond. I was displeased with the silence, unsure if he was still present but as I turned to check it he was there, a hand reached for my cheek and turned my head gently, my grey eyes meeting his grey ones.

He nodded, not a word more. He looked at me as if he was discovering something new in his hands. I knew that Sirius was this mysterious muddle of mess at times but never so quite or odd. I saw the cigarette behind his ear and reached for it, holding it between the tips of my fingers.

"Please..." I pleaded in a whisper. I wanted him to kick the habit, something he knew I hated but he loved to torment me with. And like routine, he gentle chuckled and took it away. However this time, I got a sense of deja vu; holding the back of my neck with his hand, he placed his lips on the temple of my head, quite close to my eye.

"Don't avoid me anymore. If you do, I'll just keep chasing you sweetheart" his words were devilish and cunning but so wrong and arousing. I caught my breath, staring at him in disbelief. That guy could knock me off my feet before I could see it coming. He pulled away from me, putting his cigarette on his lips and leaving me alone in the carriage.

Jack was fading away. I didn't want him to but... I couldn't help it. I can't lie about feelings. It's not healthy.

- - - // - - -

We all got off the platform together, my hand locked with Jacks as we said a sweet goodbye to each other...
With our friends standing around watching us as if they were watching a show. I pulled away blushing, catching eyes with Sirius who was leaning against James, the two of them frowning at me. Jack left to find his parents and I was alone again with my friends.

My cheeks heated up as the boys continuous stared at me. Sirius had this hold on me that I've never felt before.... I felt like he was holding me without being near me.

"Maxine" I heard my mother call from behind the boys. My eyes lit up and I pushed through the two of them, walking fast to my mother. I embraced the small woman, our love wrapping around each other. Her face was blotchy and tired. She was alone and didn't have many people to help her.... I was here now.

"Max, Max wait up!" The cry grew louder on the crowded platform we tried to push through. My mother stopped and I was greeted all of a suddenly by him. I held my mothers hand and went to reach for dads... I swallowed and felt my nostril heat up the way it does before you cry.

"Hi" he breathed at me, his grin as bright as the big Christmas tree at school. "Hi Mrs Green, I don't know if your daughter has ever mentioned me before, She's a really close friend of mine. My name's Sirius, It's a pleasure to meet you" he showed a grace and charm that had never been surfaced in front of me before. It was very attractive.

"Hello, Sirius" my mother smiled. She hadn't smiled since..

"I actually used to live down the same road as you... I came from number 12.. unfortunately. Not anymore though, I left because it was not good there. Anyway, I'm babbling. I'm glad I finally got to meet you, Maxine's told me a lot about you and your husband. I just want to say I'm so sorry, I know how hard it must be for you and Max, I've been taking great care of her and if there is anything else you both need, I'm more than happy to help" Sirius slyly took my hand and gently rubbed the back of it with his thumb. He didn't care that people where around, he didn't care that myself and my mother could be in danger because he would protect us. Perhaps I was wrong to push him away last week...

I looked over my shoulder for a second and felt my stomach drop. I had thought he left, but instead my boyfriend was watching me with confusion and hurt in his eyes. I'm never spoke to him about family, I never spoke to him about my father and I never went to introduce him to my mother.

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