I look at him as he sauntered towards me. He's attractive. Fair skin. Matangkad. Got that 'makahulog panty' kind of smile. And oh, he's an engineer. Maybe, a big fat point added to his deliciousness and being ideal.
But he's not mine. He will never be mine.
"Hi, dito ka pala nag wowork? Long time no see.” Bati niya sakin.
"Ah, oo. Pantawid gutom." I answered.
I worked in a grocery store, catering the grocery needs of our every customer and sometimes, nagca-cashier. Senior High School lang ang natapos ko and because the life of someone like me na walang degree ay hindi puro glitters, kailangan kong kumayod para mabuhay. Bills and everything won't let you drown with self pity. There's no time for that in this fast pace world.
He just smiled, pick up what he needs and brought it to the counter. Ako nalang din nag-assist sa kaniya. Punching and putting it in a paper bag.
"345 po lahat, sir." I just stared at his hands while he's opening his wallet to get 500 pesos bill.
"Kumusta kana?" Pagtatanong niya, maybe, to open up a topic or para lang siguro h'wag maging awkward. We're schoolmates in highschool. He's one batch ahead of me. And will, we got a bit of history, a history that's not worth thinking of.
"Oks lang po, Engineer. Struggling but surviving. Nga pala, congratulations on your passing of civil engineer board exam.” I smiled then handed him his groceries, receipt, and change.
"Thankyou. See you around.”
See you around? Definitely, not.
-----
"Nakakapagod." I said loudly and heaved a sigh after. Nagbebed space ako malapit sa pinagta-trabaho-han ko. Libre lunch sa work ko, my breakfast & dinner bumibili nalang ako sa karendirya sa labas.
I opened my phone, hindi ako nag-o-open ng phone whenever I am working, iwas distraction and for me to focus hundred percent with my work. I opened my data, scroll on my newsfeed, opened messenger after.
And to my shock, I found a message from him. One unsent message, and isang final message niya.
Denver Angelo Diaz :
*Denver Angelo Diaz unsent a message*
It was nice meeting you.
Magrereply ba ako? I mean, we're not that civil. We're not that close. He's wasn't my ex either. He's just someone na laman ng panaginip ko for so many years.
I seened the message.
“Hehe. God bless you, Engineer.” I replied, exited the app then opened my Bible App.
1 Chronicles 16:11
“Go to the Lord for help, and worship him continually.” I read the passage loudly. I close my eyes and uttered,
"Lord, it's been a hard day. Ah, and I saw him today, for so many years. Lord, I'm tired. I'm really really tired. I wanna rest already.”
Yes, to answer your question.... I am a Christian. I love the Lord Jesus but I am battling between my faith and doubt.
I am Adellaine and this is my story.
