seems too perfect to be true

Just maybe that the pretty girl you see,

with a good friend group that you always see her laughing with,

She seems so confident, so put together,

And maybe what you don't see is her using her phone as a mirror

Because the way she feels under everybody harmless looks

Is absolute fear that someone saw something on her that they didn't like.

And what no one sees is her looking around at everyone making sure she's

Doing the right thing or checking to see if anyone is looking at her with

A judgmental stare

She walks and talks without a care in the world,

But In actuality everything thats she says replays in her mind about 5 times

Making sure she didn't sound stupid, another thing someone could judge her for,

Another thing she has to worry about.

Those pine green eyes that fade into blue,

rare, extremely rare, but not many notice how special they are or

how special she is. you see the sparkle in them when she smiles.

Sometimes the sparkle lasts awhile

and sometimes only for a few seconds.

Once you notice the sparkle you look for it every time she smiles.

Why does this glimmer of hope In her eyes bring so much joy to you

Until suddenly you notice the little light getting dimmer and dimmer

Until one day its gone.

She's the bubbliest person you know, she loves and cares for everyone,

Anything will make her smile.

True happiness is what you think when you see her.

Why wouldn't she be happy?

She has it all.

Green eyes, fit body, naturally straight teeth, big smile, blonde hair, lots of friends, good grades. So why would you expect anything less than happiness from her?

This is an outsiders point of view.

Her view is much different. She sees herself full of flaws.

Flaw full not flawless.

what people see has perfect she sees it as something that has to change

She's not good enough.

People see true happiness, and thats the opposite of what it is.

The more she smiles the more pain she seems to be in.

Maybe she's working out thats why she's so slim nowadays, or maybe she thought she was so fat that she didn't want to eat for days.

She always seems to have the nicest sweaters, hoodies and long sleeve shirts.

You always knew she had good style, it made her even better.

But now she always seems to wear long sleeves.

It never occurred to you that there might be another reason other than she's just cold.

Maybe she just wants to hide her scarred arms from everyone.

If people saw her arms they would think she's no longer perfect and there must be something wrong with her.

That can't happen, she has her perfect rep to keep up with and she can't ruin it now.

Everyday you see her she's on her phone in-between classes, what would be so important that she had to be on her phone each time

Staring intently at her phone.

Thats the only sparkle on her eyes that you see anymore,

the bright reflection from her phone

Only this time the sparkle doesn't bring you hope,

it brings you fear for yourself and for her.

This fear that strikes you, its so bad you have to ask her if she's okay.

You walk up behind her, tap her shoulder, she turns around, sees you and smiles.

You look for the sparkle. Nowhere to be found.

She gives you a hug, you feel so loved. As she goes back to talk to you you see her fixating on making sure her sleeves go past her hands.

"J? Are you okay?"

Her smile disappears, she looks around making sure no one else will be able to hear what she's gonna say.

"You are the first person to ever ask me that. No, I'm not okay. I've forgotten what happiness feels like. All the smiles are fake"

You see the sparkle in her eye. But this time they're tears.

A single tear falls from her eyes.

She used her sleeve to wipe it away. She looks at you, you feel her pain as you look into her glossy, now dark green eyes.

"Do you actually care? Do you really want to know?" She asks as she looks like she about to burst from holding this in for so long.

You answer with a tone so soft it's almost a whisper

"Yes. I'm right here. I'm here for you. I need your sparkle"

She takes your hand and leads you to a small park close by that only has some hills and picnic benches. She sits down on one of the hills, she motions for you to sit down beside her. She hasn't said anything until now

"i'm not perfect. I'm the opposite. Im broken."

She moves her sleeves up to her elbows.

You see scars... scars on top of scars.. some faded ones, others on top of the faded ones and then you see the newest ones..

"those new ones are from last night" she said motioning to the ones at the top of her wrist, still red.

You take her arm with the lightest grip not wanting to put her in more pain.

Looking at the scars.. too many to count.

A few tears fall from your eyes and on to her arm.

"Im here and I'm not gonna leave"

you say looking up to see tears falling down from her eyes

Even though she was crying you could see that beautiful sparkle in her eyes again

It was faint and dim but it was there and it lit up your entire world.

You could see your hope in her eyes,

not only did you see hers but you saw happiness.

All she needed to get some happiness back was for someone to care.

You Cared And You Mean The World To Her.