Unsaid Words From A Broken Heart

ONE

// You've stained me and broken my heart, soul and spirit... Yet I hoped that you might start to value me but you didn't love ... And that's what hurts... Even though I loved you with an intensity hard to explain through words, you treated me like a toy that you'd play with when you wanted to and then throw it away when you found something better to play with... You'd come back to me when you got bored with the other toys and I'd still be happy about it.... The pain you've given me is indescribable but I am still insanely and inexplicably in love with you... I know I don't mean anything to you... All you care about is yourself and somehow I still find this selfish behaviour loveable but you can't seem to care a bit about my selfless one.... You don't seem to understand how much I've degraded myself under your pressure, your demands and pleas... I can't tell what's more demeaning to do.... To deny your demands or to accept them....

My love, you stole my spark of madness and I don't know if I'd ever be the same but I have to understand that the longer I stay, the harder it gets to leave you behind....  You have broken me in a way that I believe no one can fix.... You've taken away my happiness and turned it into a sad feeling of never being good enough to satisfy you.... But I know I'll be able to heal with time... I'll never be the same again because you, my sunshine, have given me a heartbreak that will never completely go away.... I hope that I atleast be in your memories and maybe when we meet years later you remember me as the girl who you shouldn't have ever let go....

Lastly, I want you to know that you were my first..  Alot of my firsts were with you..... I'm sorry... I've left without an explanation... But my love... My dearest friend and love..... I will always keep loving you... No matter what happens... You'll always be there in the corner of my mind, present in my heart and always connected to my soul.... They always said the first love was the most painful yet powerful one and now I believe it to be so too.... And my love... You were mine even though I wasn't yours.....
I'll never stop loving you....

                                                  Yours....
                                                        I.S. //~~