When Twilight Take Him From Me.. [The Collective]

"Then, after 4 years you disappeared, suddenly you came and begged at me like this?”I said spontaneously. He was stunned and silent.

***

                That afternoon, I was having lunch at a cafeteria near my campus. I quickly devoured all the lasagna is served at the table. Honestly, I'm very hungry, this morning I haven’t had breakfast because I could not sleep last night and ended up in the morning I woke up late.

Yes, all because of what happened last night, Jayden come again in my life. This last 4 years my life is totally empty and maybe, I can’t feel love, don’t know what is love, and what is affection. Jayden arrival last night also can’t melt my heart that had long freeze. I'm still angry with him, and without giving any chance for him to explain, I slammed my door last night in front of him, and I left him standing in front of my door.

In my room I just sat pensively, looking at the night sky without stars and I felt my tears dripping. In my conscience, I feel guilty for what I've done to Jayden. Maybe my behave was not appropriate, especially since I'm impressed chase away him. Mixed feelings, I'm angry with him, I hate him. But deep in my heart, there is a sense that I can’t express.

I  looked at my watch, it was shown at 12:50 and I immediately rushed into the next class.

***

“Excuse me, I want to ask, where’s the lecturer’s room?” Someone asked me. I looked at it briefly, it seems I know, his face was familiar to me.

“From here until the end of the straight, turn left continue later, the lecturer’s room is on the right.”I replied.

“Okay, well thanks. Oh yes, may I know your name? I'm a new student here.” That guys who has a proportional body asked me.

I said, ”Clarisse. You?”

“Will. Sorry, I had to hurry up, I'll see you later.”

"Yes.”

Hmm, he seems like the type of my dream guy and I thought he is a good man. Ahh but, I may not like him. I do not believe in 'love at first sight' because I think it is just mere lust.

***

Once I'm at home, I opened my laptop and checked my email. An email came from Jayden.

“Meet me at the Olaola café later at 7 pm, there is something important to me to convey to you. I hope you want to meet me. Tks, Jayden.”

“What does he want?” I Thought. I've never wanted to remember again and now he asked me to be present at the café. What will he talk about?

***

“Clars,” Jayden start a conversation.

"What you want to say after all that you did to me? Is enough to make me fall apart after your left. Now what do you want?”

                “I never intended so, Clars. Actually, I left you because I should continued my lecture in Japan. And the reason I did not tell you because I do not want you think about me and miss me. You do also have to focus to your lecture, Clars.”

“But not like this Jayden. You do not go a day or two, you go 4 years. And you know where your fault? You do not say goodbye at me and you hanging our relationship.”

“Forgive me, Clars. I know I’m stupid. I can not think well at the time. After all, it's all not my desire. Mum deal me with it all and she given 2 days before departure. I was really apologetic, Clars.”

I was silent. I do not know what to say. I was really disappointed with Jayden.

“Clars, what am I gonna do for you to get you to forgive me? I still really love you, Clars.”