We're walking down the hallway, that seems it will never end. We turn into the biggest room of the church, when everybody turns, staring at us. Some of the people look familiar, maybe a cousin, or a great uncle. Most of them I have never seen before, and it seems Emma feels the same. I choose a seat near the front of the room, hoping nobody would come over and talk to me. Emma walks over to the tall window, with the cream colored silk curtains, looking outside. I cannot bear to look forward. To see what I have been avoiding. I see the pastor walking into the room, every person in the room finding their seat, quiet, listening.
My mother died on April 13, 2011. The doctors say it happened that morning, at 3:10, they said she had gotten in a fatal car crash, which made her die a slow and painful death. I don't like to think about it, but I can never help it. I always wonder, why was my mother driving around when she is usually sleeping? Why was she not in the safety of our home? Why?
I sit on the rickety swing, the long rope digging into my hands, as i swing back and forth, back and forth. I look over to Emma, sitting next to the big maple tree on the other side of me. I notice her long blond curls swaying in the breeze, jealous of how much longer it is than mine. Her eyes are as blue as the darkest part of the ocean, and mine, green just like the tops of trees in the first weeks of spring. Everything around me is so bright, and full of life. I just wish i could feel that.
"Ivy?" I stop the swing, my feet skidding the ground, and look up at Emma, who is offering me a smile. I have to force a smile back to keep the tears to stay in, just stay in.
"Yes?" I walk over and sit next to her, it was getting dark, almost time to go to bed.
"Do you ever wonder, if maybe, maybe mom didn't do this? It wasn't like her to leave especially at that time of night.." I turn my head away, hoping she doesn't hear my sobs. I hide my face from her, and I shake my head. "She, she..she" I can't speak, the words just do not come. My sobs are coming out louder than I wanted, and Emma looks at me, hugs me, and we walk inside, crying together.
That is the first night I really feel like we are becoming not as far apart from each other. We have not had a moment like this in four years. I have missed her so much. Every day now we take walks to town and haven't had a minute away from each other. I just needed a friend, which is finally what I have with my sister.
And that is all going to end.