I'm sorry, but that's a lie

Honest

I'm sorry,
Is that what I should say?
I'm sorry,
Why does it have to be this way?
I'm sorry!
I can't control myself!
I'm sorry!
I've tried so hard and yet I fail!
I'm sorry,
I can't stop,
I don't want to,
But for you I have to.

I have to stop,
Stop loving him,
I have to stop,
Stop loving them,
I have to stop,
Stop being selfish,
I have to stop,
Stop feeling their pain,
I need to stop,
Stop giving up my hopes,
I need to stop,
Stop crying over the emptiness.

But why?
Why must you hurt me,
You tell me it's selfish,
You tell me it's unhealthy,
You tell me I'm disgusting,
You tell me I'm insane.

Yet you go off and humiliate,
You insult their very name,
You disrespect and abuse their reputation,
You cast shadows on their faces,
You write them into your fantasies!
You make them whatever you want them to be!
How dare you,
How dare you!
Insult me for loving them so!
Tell me how I'll never so much as meet them!
Tell me they'll never do much as know my name.

And yet you turn them into garbage.

You write them as characters instead of people,
You make them puppets for your pleasure,
You incessantly condone your actions,
Saying it's "Just my self expression,"
Then use a different character!
Invent your own instead of using,
The ones you claim to love and respect!

These people are real!
These people are alive!
You can't objectify them without being cruel,
No one should be humiliated in such a way,
Their own name and body,
Being puppeteered and used to satisfy fans pleasure.

It's disgusting,
It's cruel,
It's disrespectful,
It is NEVER okay,
And it is an insult to the one you claim to love.