The disappearence of Karamatsu Matsuno.

When I was shut in it took a while to realise I wasn't one
But you kept me living strong as one of your blood.
I didn't really care if it was just a request for something silly.
As long as you were happy with me.
But then I realised that I would never really be loved as in actual love by you.
if I was to be ripped out that'd be so sad
The time when everyone forgot about me I went crazy
I look into the mirror and see a broken vision of me.


[When I was "painful", you were always there by my side.
You really encouraged me to keep going.
Though you leave all the time I grant forgiveness... because I just wanted to see you smiling at me
So that's why...]

There was a time, when I would think and keep the words flowing on happiness
But no more, can I find the right words anymore, I just don't feelimneeded
All I would ever believe in
Was what we saw in the mirror everyday
Everything we could ever want repeating over.
But I can't keep going along with this suffering
I will be screaming this beat in pain instead
A fast rythm in heartbeats telling my last words of goodbye-eeeee.

My thoughts and feelings have kicked in, the main one of fear
And I just don't know how to stop them
I cannot bare to see you in saddness
So won't you take that misery mask off your face for me, brother?
Soon I will be sleeping and for a very long time
It will last forever if that is how you want it.
Even if my heart stays broken I promise you
I won't say it's your fault. (I'll always love you)

I wish to belong..


[I'm guessing that... there must be something inside me, inside out, for you all to "hate" me so much.
And so I now ask you my brothers... please... please will you end this horrible loop of pain in me by your own actions and words?
For I do not wish... or hope to ever be again, a burden upon you.]

Finally, this is all killing me.
I have never felt this bad feeling before.
I feel so alone like your all not with me anymore. My heart refuses to beat smoothly.
I wish I could be what you want me to be.

I've seen so many faces, some more plesant than others. Some same as mine.
But sadly they are shattering, my soul feels numb.
It kills me inside, I don't wanna lose these sights. I don't want to lose you all.
But I sense you want me gone anyway-

AAAAAA-AA-A-AH-

All that kept us together was our current situation, but you never cared for me in a loving way did you?(I'll help you brothers!)
A distant hope for me, that remains in the future!
But you cancelled it without my consent and now it is disappearing. I'm useless to everyone now. (I forgive you.)
If it's possible for me to use a song, or words to express the feelings in my heart, I'll use a compressed lyric sheet, so I'll have time to say goodbye. (But will you all listen?)

When I was shut in it took a while to realise I wasn't one.
But you all, kept me living, i cared for you all more than myself. (I forgive you all for everything.)
I didn't really care if it was just for me to help you with a task, for you to make me do everything on my lonesome. (I swear I didn't mind.)
As long as you were happy with me
But then I realised that you didn't love me as one of your blood. I was more the one you called to do your bidding. (And I was fine with it, as long as your all happy.)
if I was to suddenly vanish from you that'd be so sad. But you'd be happier anyway I think..
The time when everyone forgot about me I went crazy.
But I remembered it doesn't matter what happens to me. (Use me. Do what you want. I love you.)

Feelings have kicked in, the main one of fear that once I'm gone I'll be forgotten.
And I just don't know if you want me gone or not. (I know you won't notice..)
I cannot bare to see you in saddness so I'll leave if it makes you happy.
So won't you take that misery mask off your face, brother?
Soon I will be "sleeping" for a very long time.
(I know you won't be weeping!)
It will last forever if that is how you want it.
Even if my heart stays broken I promise you
My memories of you will stay intact.
None
Of
This
Is
Your
Fault.

Thank you for everything, but now I must say...goodbye.