Scintilla - Remus Lupin x Reader

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Scintilla: (n). A tiny, brilliant flash or spark; a small thing; a barely visible trace.  

She didn't do it on purpose. She didn't mean for it to happen. But it did. Remus felt his entire being so damn pulled towards her. It had started in such a subtle way that he could never imagine how difficult it would become for him to be in the same room with her. Especially when one of his friends was being rather flirty and touchy. However, that wasn't even the worst part. She was flirting with him as well. Of course, she was. Sirius was everything he wasn't. Somehow, every girl and some boys were all over him all the time. She was different, not like the girls Sirius was usually fooling around. She was smart, creative and kind. She was shy but she never shied away from anything or anyone when her friends and her ideas were been questioned. She was beautiful in a way that made him think of roses; breathtaking view with thorns. She was complicated and mysterious. He believed that she deserved better than just him. A person with a problem that consumed his life and mind. He would be an egotistical jerk if he acted on his feelings. Also, he was afraid of the inevitable rejection that was coming his way. And then, how would their friendship heal? It wouldn't. That was why he just stood there, watching them flirt with each other, oblivious to her feelings.

The common room was always a crowded place but it was literally packed this time of the day. He was trying to study but the noise was overwhelming. Students chatting, couples kissing, groups gossiping. Sirius flirting with her and her ... It was always her. With her radiant smile and her curious eyes...she seemed to brighten up the entire room. No, wait. His entire life. Every time she would accidentally touch him or whenever her sugary scent would be lingering on... And those rare times she would be tracing patterns of non-existing shapes on his skin...he shivered just in thought. She was too... Out of his league. He didn't want to burden her with his problem even though he knew her opinions and beliefs about similar issues. She was always so caring yet fierce and he didn't want to make his problem hers.

He tried to focus on his assignment but her smile and Sirius' smirk were distracting him. He didn't want to hear whatever Sirius was telling her and he didn't want to think all the possible scenarios that played on in his mind. He had absolutely no right to feel the way he did. What was that feeling anyways? He didn't hate them for being... Close... He did hate that they were close, though. 'No, you don't. You're just jealous' said the bitter voice in his mind. He never wanted to admitted and he wouldn't. He wasn't jealous. He wasn't.

"I promise to always be by your side. Or under you, or on top of you" Sirius remarked and she playfully smacked his arm but laughed nonetheless. Remus bit his lip to stop himself from exclaiming something that he knew he would regret. He simply closed his books with a thump and got up. Something that she noticed and her smile fell and he saw it. Whatever, he thought. He simply grabbed his things and without responding to the confused look James was giving him or to the hurt one that she had. Yeah, right. Like she would be hurt because he was about to leave. She had Sirius. With that in his mind, he climbed the stairs and closed the door behind him, making him the only one in that dorm. At least, he would suffer in silence.

 At least, he would suffer in silence

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