perfect

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i lay here alone, a chill from the fan spinning aimlessly above. my lungs pained, chest hurt, heart broken but it is just a state of mind, or so i've been told. a tear trickles down my face as the gate that stops the flow is over thrown by the flood that is caused by my emotions. i lay here feeling alone and afraid.

will i ever meet him, is he who i dream of, are thoughts that wander through my head. they are able to pile onto the list that seems to be forever growing of the fear of that someone never arriving. sending a shiver down my spine as i hope that this will never happen but hope may not be enough.

the flickering light in the corner of my room eases me into a sense of comfort again bringing reality back into check. i find myself a mess of emotions and thoughts racing through my head. the worst is a thing that is tried not to be feared by most but this situation does not call for that in my head.  every scenario leads to a bad resolution and that is the root to my fear, the tip of the leaf to my thoughts.

now under the covers i lay and wonder if i can find him or if he can find me. the fear of being left unnoticed is almost overwhelming. a shudder sent through my body when it dawns on me that i may be perfect for no one but comfort resides in the fact that someone will be perfect for me.

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