Find The Blue Butterfly

Chapter I

           

I like you

Every person has thoughts that they want to keep to themselves. Stories, that are impossible to tell, for others will think you're crazy.

This is my story.

The loud ringing of my phone pulled me out of my dreams, leaving me sitting confused and dumbfounded in bed. When I got back to my senses, I took my phone and read the last notification beaming on the screen.

One missed call from Katy.

I ringed Katy back, and got an immediate answer.

"Milo!", she screamed into the phone.

"What do you want?"

"What I want? Gosh Milo look at the time for once. We're supposed to meet with the others in one hour, and today's our duty to light up the fire."

I totally forgot. Suddenly I was fully awake.

"In front of my house in ten minutes, okay?", I said while stumbling out of bed.

"On my way!", she screamed again.

I ran up to my wardrobe, pulling out a black sweatshirt, ripped skinny jeans and my all-time favorite combat boots. My hair was a mess, but I just ignored it. While running out of my bedroom door I quickly grabbed my glasses, ramming them a little too aggressively on my nosebridge. I ran past the kitchen, ignoring my rumbling stomach. And just as I wanted to open the front door to leave, Katy slammed it open right in front of my nose, screaming hysterically.

"Miles Makin, learn to lock the fricking door! I could've been a robber, or even worse, a killer!"

"Katherine Bloomers, stop screaming, you already woke me up today and I don't want to get even more annoyed with you than already am."

I tried to say that in a serious tone, but I couldn't help chuckling when she pouted like a baby. I grabbed both of her wrists with one hand and started ruffling her hair with the other, just to tease her a little bit. With a big grin on her face she pulled her hands out of my grip and started hitting me so I'd stop with the hair-ruffling. I pretended to be hurt by her actions with an exaggerated expression of shock. After some moments of laughter and impersonating each other we left.

The way was long, and we quickly ran out of things to talk about. It was strange for me to walk in that silence with my all-time best friend, and I never would've thought that it could have been so awkward. After some minutes, Katy broke the silence. Thank god, I thought.

"I have to tell you something."

"What is it?", I said, now looking at her.

"I think I like Caleb."

I had hoped she would tell me something that I didn't already know.

"Oh, come on, I know already."

"What? How? I never told you!", she muttered frustrated, her brown eyes piercing deeply into my blue ones. A shudder went down my spine.

Yes, she is small, but her glances can sometimes be so scary. I thought.

"You always look at him with these longing eyes of yours, and I've known you for over 12 years now, so I think I can evaluate you quite good."

She started to pout, making her cheeks look very squishy, and bumped into me with her shoulder.

"I wanted to surprise you.", she whispered so quietly that I almost didn't hear it.

Oh yes, it was a surprise for me when I first noticed, because Katy is not the girl to fall in love. It's more important for her to have friends than a lover. That's a thing that I've always admired about her.

Suddenly she shook her head, clapped the palms of her hands against her cheeks and started to speak again.

"Anyways, do you like someone? I've heard some rumors that you're talking a lot with Bea lately!", she said, nudging her elbow a little too harsh into my side.

Just as I wanted to tell her that I don't like anyone I suddenly had to think of Jihyun. Ashamed of my thoughts I looked down and blushed.

"No, I don't like anyone. By the way, I can't
even stand Bea, she's such a pain in the ass."

"But you're blushing, don't say you really like her! Oh my god, you like her! Milo likes B-"

"I don't like Bea for fucks sake!", I yelled a bit too harsh, interrupting Katy and leaving her shocked. We stopped walking.  The next moments we just stared at each other, regret growing in my stomach.

"I-I'm sorry for snapping at you like that.", I muttered, looking embarrassed at my shoes. She just nodded in response, and we continued to walk to the old storage building we always met up with the others.

Jihyun. I hated the way I felt towards him in that moment. Mostly because I didn't come out as gay yet, and never even planned to do that. I've promised myself to keep it in, but now that Jihyun entered my life that was a pretty challenging task to manage.

An image of him kept flashing through my head, causing me to daydream. I can't stop thinking about him, or his beautiful olive toned skin, or his almost-black eyes that hide when he smiles his gummy smile.

Who could blame me for falling in love?

Oh, there are so many who would blame my kind of love, but I can't help it.

I didn't notice that I smiled like an idiot. Quickly, I set up a straight face again, trying to keep in all the emotions.

Damn you, Jihyun.