Only Forward

(1) Nothing Like A Wedding

Like the title says, there is nothing like a wedding to give you new perspectives in life.  Weddings can be fun: the long flows dresses, the white gown every bride wears, bouquets of flowers, floating candles, tux-ed up gentleman, red lipstick, gorgeous entrance music, etc., etc., etc.  You would think I had just been a part of one, to be so up front and familiar with it all. 
You are in luck!  I have recently been a part of a wedding.  I was in my sister's wedding last night.  I should probably still be sleeping from last night's alcohol sipping and dancing but the birds outside my west side window awoke me and I am now writing to you instead. 
My sister Vanessa Nicole got married last night.  She and Ellet had been engaged for nine months and they were both itching in the last couple of weeks to get it over with and start their life together.  I am so happy for my sister; that she found someone to enjoy the wonders of the world with.  She kissed me on the cheek before leaving in the limo last night and said that it is my turn next.  I just laughed and hugged her back.  Weddings require a fiancée and a boyfriend before that and seeing as I do not have any of those requirements, I say it will be a while.
Vanessa was stunning.  Her gown was pure white, strapless, with lace streaming from her waist down to the hemline. The veil, made of the same delicate lace, hooked into her pinned-up hair in the back and ran down her back.   A family friend of ours did her makeup and curled her hair and she looked like a perfect beauty queen, L.A.'s own native princess.    I know Ellet was shedding tears as my dad walked Vanessa down the aisle. 
I was the honorable maid of honor, holding the bride's beautiful iris bouquet during the whole ceremony.  The bridesmaids held a mixture of indigo and yellow iris bouquets and Vanessa's was just pure indigo.  All of them had little sprouts of milkweed-looking clusters tied in as well to complete it.  Our indigo dresses matched the flowers.  From a mind's eye, the colors might sound flashy, but they were perfect. 
The reception  went off without a jilt. I gave a speech that I had prepared, paper in hand at all times.  The best man, Ellet's cousin, just spoke from memory or improvisation, not sure which, but he did a really good job.  I think I was the only one in the wedding party without a date, so I felt slightly on the sideline, but of course my dad had a dance for me and one of Ellet's friends who I have known ever since Vanessa and Ellet have been going out, spun me around for a while.  He is like a brother to me.  He and I will never hook up. 
Yes, last night was a wonderful night.  I am a happy sister with a married sister and life is good.  Unfortunately, it is just another reminder that I have to create something new with my life.  I have to find something that is solely mine, that inspires, impacts and instills in me positive, thrilling motivation to chase after anything my heart might desire. 
Since at this moment, I do not know what those dreams may be, I will tell you what I do know.  I know I am the only daughter left in my parent's house.  As of this morning, all of the upstairs belongs to me, I suppose.  Vanessa and I always had separate rooms but a hallway-like connecting room that holds a tv, a window seat, writing desk and a waist-high bookshelf. Whenever we weren't in school or eating meals with my parents, we were in that perfect little room.  Even last month we were planning her wedding in our cave. 
Don't get me wrong.  I won't turn into a lonely hermit.  My sister may be my best friend but we have our separate groups we hang out with and we know how to have fun on our own.  I am not worried about being lonely. 
I have my degree finished.  I could never put my finger on anything specific so I settled for a boring business administration major.  I was supposed to do an internship this past summer but it fell through sadly. I have done random odd jobs in the last few weeks, but I need to find a more permanent thing. 
I have a dog named Velvet who sleeps on my bed.  I probably sound like I am ten years old, "She sleeps on my bed!", but I swear she's the child, not me.  She is the sweetest animal ever, but hitting her elderly years and I am not looking forward to her becoming an old lady.  Just one more change to get used to. 
It's not that change is bad; it's just that my family has never been one to initiate the change.  I have grown up in the same house since I was born.  Dad has kept the same job, steady and prospering as always.  We were nothing spectacular in the celebrity world or anything, although I attempt to keep tabs on the entertainment realm, seeing as we live on the outskirts of Los Angeles and therefore, have many opportunities not available to others abiding in other parts of the country.  I went to school an hour away, but did not connect with anyone, which is why I have stayed home so far.  Even our neighbors have not changed in several years.   Mrs. Blanche has been across the street in the tiny blue house for as long as I can remember.  Vanessa and I would take turns bringing her her mail or borrowing sugar for one of Mom's newly testing recipes and always get a cup of fresh lemonade to sip in the sunshine.  The Roberts have dwelt in the corner house for a couple of years now and it is refreshing to see their numerous grandchildren dashing in and out of the yard, filling the still air with innocent shrills again. 
And then there is the Lynches.  Although family members have moved in and out and back in again from that house, my window has always peered into their top floor bedroom window, which just so happens to be occupied by one Ross Lynch.  Thank God the windows are not so close that we can touch fingertips.  That would be creepy close.