Slightly Different Magic Story:
On a magical place called "Earth: The Sequel" it started raining. But it was no ordinary rain, no, no, no! This was a SUPER rain. You could say a storm, I guess, but do regular storms on "Earth The First: Our One" end our entire SOLAR SYSTEM? Nope. The rain just started sprinkling, then trickling, then pouring, then bucketing, then the ocean rose from where it should be, it swallowed up a Sea Scientist, that was working with Plutonium Oil to cook some nuclear fish because why not, and it became sentient! The ocean decided it wanted to speak, so it grew a mouth. That's how being sentient works on "Earth: The Sequel" apparently! The ocean was like, "OIII you salty dogs, I will both hydrate and dehydrate you so much that you'll RUN OUT OF BREATH! Now won't that suck? NO! Maybe a little, but only WATER! Is what... you'll suck... in... STEAD OF OXYGEN! OOH, COME FOR A SWIM BECAUSE YOU JUST GOT BURNED!" And then the Ocean met a super edgy teen and we'll call him Dennis, so Dennis was like, "Hey, I threw plastic in you!" And then Dennis DIED! Not becuase of the ocean but someone's baby gained sentience and decided to grow infinite car-arms and throw them at people. Dennis was the third. The Ocean was like, "Oh, wow thanks buddy." And the baby grew GILLS! So the baby could live underwater now! The Ocean remembered Edgy Dennis and was like, "Huh teenagers are dicks!" And then the Ocean killed some more! Oh, how unexpected! This next part is from the Ocean's perspective: 'Hum-dee-dum-dee-dumm! Oh wow a school? How about some water up those pipes, and then KABOOM! the school exploded and killed all the teenagers, oh no, except OH YEAH BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT VERY POLITE! HA-HA! I bet ORPHANAGES HAVE TEENS! BOOM! DEATH TO TEENAGER ORPHANS! Oh look a business building. I bet those adults were teens once, hey... KAPOW! Corporate House Place GONE!' and then it just goes on, really. It's just repeating itself, "Ooh babies? They'll be teenagers won't they? Dead babies." Then it decided that the sun was a teenager at one point like all humans and then it half froze itself half way to the sun, but also got pretty close so it unfroze and then melted, and then put out the sun because when water freezes it expands so more water when unfrozen, and then the sun couldn't take it anymore so it was like, "Ow dude stop that hurts, or I'll supernova" And the Ocean was like, "GO ON THEN, DO IT!" and then 'Earth: The Sequel' died.
the ending is pending...
