lets go - belle

• I •

i opened my eyes suddenly and began to take in my surroundings. i was lying in a fetal position in the corner of my bathroom, with most of my things knocked off the counter and strewn about. my head rested in my arms, which is how i must have slept after passing out. as soon as i was fully able to comprehend what was going on around me i realised it had happened again. i frantically leaped to my feet, going slightly off balance and almost fall over, but i quickly run out the doorway into my room and grab my bag, an old grey overused backpack.
i sped over to my bedside table and unplugged my phone, seeing it was somewhere around 1:00 am. i was slightly relieved, as this meant she would still be awake, as she too has a bit of an off sleeping schedule. as i pocket my phone, i find crouch down, yanking the charger from the outlet and wrapping it up, speed walking back to my bag and placing it in the front pocket. I go to my desk, doing the same thing i did to my phone to my laptop and tablet, gathering them and the chargers, and placing them in my bag. i then walked over to my closet, and grabbed a few of my favorite articles of clothing, hastily folding them and shoving them in my bag. i then went over to my bookshelf and grabbed my sketch book, i never went anywhere without it. i walked over to my dresser, which my old jewelry box sat atop, and looked inside for a specific necklace. i quickly put it on, and went over to my bag to see if i had everything. after a quick assurance, i went to my closet for my jean jacket, which was old and slightly tattered, patches scattered all over it. i put it on and put on my bag, and my white converse. before leaving, i remembered my headphones. i went to my desk, got them, and quickly placed them in my front pocket.
i walked to the other side of the room and opened my window, making sure to not make too much noise. i adjusted the beanie that was on my head, and made my way out.
as i walked the familiar sidewalks of the suburbs on my way to her house feeling slightly nogalistic, knowing i spent my childhood here, and that i would never be back. seeing the houses of old childhood acquaintances, and even passing the park i would spend all my evenings at with my friends. as i got older and i became more introverted, i would often just sit on the swings alone listening to music and drawing. that's where i met her.
we were both 13 and i was sitting there on the swingset alone, and she came and sat next to me. she attempted to initiate a conversation, but i was too immersed in my doodling that i didn't notice her, at least until she tapped on my shoulder, scaring me and sending my pencil flying into her face. after profusely apologising, and her assuring me that everything was fine, we became friends. after talking until it began to get dark, i told her that i always came here after school, and so she began to come with me. we always walked each other home, and after a while, sleepovers at hers became almost a weekly occurance.
we would always confide in eachother when we had problems, so her asking about why i always had bruises along my arms and legs led her to finding out about what he did to me. she was so accepting and kind, always making sure i was okay, letting me stay over whenever i got scared of him. after he did it to me the first time when i was 14, i escaped the house crying and immediately went to her. she comforted me, and was always there for me. i remember her saying if he ever did it again, that we needed to run away. at the time i looked at her like she was crazy, but now that it actually happened, i agree. so there i was, walking the streets of the maine suburbs, over to her house, where we were going to run.
I turned down her street, shoulders shaking from the cold and the fear. i slowly passed by the door and over to her window, walking behind the bush and peering in. she was staring and typing, looking puzzled and immersed in whatever she was doing on her laptop. i brought my hand up to the window, and lightly tapped on the window. she whipped her head around, her curls bouncing with the motion. her furrowed eyebrows quickly formed into a look of concern as she moved her computer off her lap and standing in one swift motion, coming up to the window and opening it. "b-bev, are you crying? are you okay?" she questioned, grabbing my hand and helping me in.
i brought a hand up to my cheek, wiping away the tears that i didn't know were there. "bev, what's wrong? what can i do?" she asked again, empathy laced in her voice. "elle," i started, sniffling. she wrapped her arms around me and embraced me in a hug. "h-he did it again," i spoke softly, almost in a whisper. she looked down at me, a twinge of anger in her face that quickly melted into sadness, and quickly said: "oh my god, bev i'm so sorry. im so, so sorry. i'm sorry i wasn't there to help you." she teared up. i looked up at her, noticing the unhappiness in her voice, and saw a tear roll down her face. i reached up and wiped it away with my thumb. "elle, i-it's okay. you c-couldn't have known." i comforted her as i went back to hugging her. "what are you going to do? you can't stay there, i won't let you." she said, squeezing me tight. she was always so good at comforting me during these times. i was so grateful to have her. 'i have to run away. i packed up all my important things. i think i'm g-going to go to new york." i confessed, looking down. i wanted her to come with me, but i knew she had people here that care for her, i didn't think she would want to drop everything just to follow me to new york. she lifted my head with her hand, shifting my gaze up to her.
'i'm coming with you." she spoke surely, looking around, presumably for things she wanted to take with her. i looked at her, as she broke away to begin to pack. "e-elle, you don't have to do that. i know you have friends here, you have a family here." i said with concern twisted in my words. she walked over to her dresser, pulling out her favorite clothes and placed them into her empty school backpack. "bev, i want to. i want to come with you." i looked confused, surprised that she would even think about abandoning her life to come with me. "elle, this is your home, your life, your world. why would you give that all up just to come with me?" i puzzled, following her around her darkened room as she gathered her most important items. "bev, you are my world, i want to spend my life with you. you always make me happy and you're my best friend, why wouldn't i give up my life here for you?"
i was suprised, to say the least. i watched as she quickly walked around her room, finding her phone and it's charger, and doing the same with her laptop. "we can take my car, and just switch the plates in case anyone wants to try to track us. i doubt it though, i don't think my parents will care." she said. her parents never cared. in a sense, she know what it was like to be hurt by the people that raised you, because her parents didnt care about her. one time, she broke her arm by falling off of the parks monkey bars, and it took 3 days until they took her to a hospital, but that's only because she had to see the school nurse because she was crying through all her classes and was deemed as 'disruptive'.
as she took one last look around, she walked over to her dresser and pulled out a necklace. the other half to the one i was wearing then. she got them for us when we were 14, as a celebration of our friendship. after putting it around her neck, she walked to her door, where she hung her favorite jacket. it was a yellow, slightly worn hoodie, with a vintage eggo logo in it. she pulled it over her head, went to her bed, zipped up her bag, and put it on her shoulders. "are you ready?" she asked me. i knew what i wanted to say, yes, i was ready to get out of this shitty town that had brought me nothing but pain and trauma, the town that had nothing good left in it, except her. i was ready to go, but instead of saying anything, i just hugged her.
i wrapped my arms around her waist and sobbed into her shoulder, and she embraced me and let me cry, running her hand through my hair. ir felt so good to have someone who understood, someone who would let me cry on their shoulder, someone who knew exactly how to comfort me when i needed it. we stood there for what felt like forever as she held me, softly swaying. as i slowly but surely composed myself, i released her from my grasp and brought my hand up to my face, wiping my nose with my sleeve. 'yes,' was all i could say. she looked at me and used her hand to wipe away my tears, and hugged me one last time. "lets go." she reached into her coat pocket where she kept her keys, and helped me out the window, following close behind as we got into her car.

wc: 1724