Acceptance

Let Go

I stare into brown eyes that held sparkle and hold obvious adoration. Leaning forward I rest my forehead against his. We listened to the crickets make music as we stared off into outer space. The light humming of a melody that was my personal favorite slowly erupted from what felt like his soul.

"How long?" I ask.

"Shh, just let me hold you."

I nod in compliance and turn away from him, slowly settling back down in his lap. "Do you think it could be different this time?"

His humming stops, I feel his hands slowly rub up and down my arms giving me goosebumps. "I don't want you to think about it." He whispers.

I nod my head, But I know he's thinking it too. It's always the same, I cherish the time I have with him- Knowing it's not long.

I feel him slowly rock us. "I can't stop loving you. I wouldn't, I'm not really trying to. This is just-" I feel my voice falter and look at the ground below us.

My eyes misting over, trying to blink the tears away but only encouraging them to fall more.

"You know I love you." He mummers into my hair.

I nod silently and look up, meeting his dark brown eyes once more and noticing the broken smile.

"Which... Is why I'm okay if you let me go."

"I would never!" I sit up and turn around, sitting on my heels and grabbing his hands. "Please, don't ever suggest that I can't hear it."

"When I first saw you, the first thing that ran through my head, was 'how many sleepless nights am I going to have over that beauty at the coffee shop before I own up the guts to talk to her?' Wanna know how many?" He laughs.

"How many?" I ask, wary as to where this was leading.

"None. Because after that, I tripped over my own two feet and landed myself a one-way ticket to the floor, your helping hand up was the route to my destination. Every conversation after was the sightseeing. I'll be damned if I ruin it."

Mourning over you isn't exactly your fault.

He looks as if he read my mind, brushing a tear off of my face. "I want you to be happy."

I was happy...

"You'll be happy again, I promise."

"If I would have known I wasn't keeping you, I would have held you tighter, kissed you longer, I wouldn't have let you leave the bed that morning if I had known-"

"It's not your fault. Its okay to love me, it's not okay to feel guilty for something you couldn't control. I just want you to know, its okay to be happy with someone else, I want to look down and see you smiling like you used to, and if it's in the arms of another, know that that's alright."

"Because I love you."

BEEP BEEP BEEP, the alarm clock sounds off.

"I love you too..."