We Are Forever Going Down

A Very Broken Girl

She had seen fire. She had seen war. She had walked through fields of dead men. And frolicked through festivals full of pulsing life. She had seen life to its fullest and death at its worst. But now. There was nothing left. Nothing but dust. Endless. Endless dust. And a very broken girl.

He had taken everything from her. Her mother. The tight lipped woman who was easily perceived as cruel. The outspoken woman who had strived to make her the best. The woman who took no bullshit. The woman who ensured her survival. Her father. The sharp contrast to his resilient wife. The jolly man who would always have a candy in his pocket. The man who would sneak into her room past bedtime to tell her stories of far off places. The man who would give to the beggars and hustle food and medicine to the less fortunate, risking his life for strangers. The man who made her kind. Her little sister. The blonde fairy who would spend hours on her hands and knees in the garden. The little pixie who would braid the hair of little kids on the streets. The little girl who would always put the needs of others before her own. The little girl who was exactly as giving as her father. Her love. The tall, lean brunette who held her heart in his front shirt pocket. The man who would whisper sweet nothings into her ear late at night after he snuck in her window. The man who would hold her as she cried when her father was punished. The man who snuck out the very window he used to crawl in through when they escaped. When they fled.

But they were all gone. Her father and her mother publicly executed for their willingness to take in illegal refugees and give food and water to the slaves who roamed the streets. Their defiance and will to see a better world cost them their lives. Her sister was captured and manhandled by soldiers. They beat her, raped her, bled her until she could no longer stand. They said they would "beat the evil out of her." The so called"evil" they claimed her parents had instilled in her. "It isn't your fault," they would whisper, "we will make it better. We will get their horrible ideals out of you." But what they told her was evil, was actually compassion. They lived in a world of cruelty.

Her love. Her everything. The calm to her storm. The water to coax her fire. He was gone too. Throat slit in front her of eyes. That was the only time in her life that she had begged. She had gotten down on her knees and begged. Begged for that cruel man to let the love of her life go. To free him. Take her instead. She would do anything. She would go with them. Whatever they wanted.

But they didn't listen. They said she needed to be punished. They said she deserved it.

And they killed him.

And her heart split straight down the middle.

But now, those murderers, those sadists, those killers, are dead. She hunted them down and butchered them the same way they had butchered thousands of innocents. She got her revenge. She was free.

But she wasn't happy. Because now she had no purpose. She had finally, truly lost everything. First, she lost her mother, stone cold in icy fury until they end. Second, she lost her father as he stood solemn for the first time in his life, the only time she ever saw him cry. Third, she lost her sister, who died too young in a world of pain that she was too young to comprehend. Fourth, she lost her love who died pleading her to run, to get away, telling her he loved her too much for his heart to bear. But finally, she lost herself. After she enacted her revenge, she was left and empty, a hollow shell of the beautiful, fiery woman she once was.

So here she lies. May she rest in peace.