You Had Me At Hot Chocolate

You had me at hot chocolate — Republished

Ever since I was little I had that nauseating feeling that someone was watching me. My doctor ruled it as the medication which was 'heightening my sences'. Ever since I was born I had a heart condition which left me unable to participate in many activities. Gym at school was out of the question so it left me on the side-lines watching everyone else having fun.

Not doing gym, having regular check-ups? That was one beacon for bullies.

I kept all my issues to myself and ended up keeping the pain from my parents too. Whenever I was in pain I had to immediately tell someone but I became so self-conscious that I couldn't. I clung to myself and 'slept it off'.

It was going well, well until that day. The day when I died.

They managed to get my heart started again though but after that nothing was the same. I was home-schooled and isolated from anyone who wasn't my mother. My Dad was concerned and tried to explain to her that I needed to be given some freedom or I'd end up being like an empty shell. That conversation didn't go too well because it ended with them both getting a divorce.

After my dad left my mum became depressed and wouldn't speak to anyone but me. She quit her job and she revolved her entire life around me. When I woke up...she was there. When I went to sleep...she was there.

Soon it became an unhealthy obsession with making sure I had the same daily routine every day. When my mum became too scared to even take me out of the house for my check-ups my doctor came over. When he talked to me and my mum separately he diagnosed her with a mental illness. Not only was I ill but it seems like my mum was doing worse.

A couple of months later it became painstakingly obvious that my mum couldn't cope. She caused an uproar stating that no one could look after me better than she could. On the opposing side stood my Dad who was more than willing to take me in because he was my father and wasn't ill in anyway.

Yet whilst the court hearing went ahead I was stuck in hospital because that was the best place for a person in my state.

It was true, my condition got worse and worse and then better and better. Soon enough it was clear that whilst this went ahead the nurses and doctors were my family.

*

"Noah, pack your things" Carrie; the nurse who had been tending to me for many years now, said as she dashed into my assigned room. She had a broad smile on her old crinkled face. She showed me a picture of her when she was a newly-wed. Size ten with a pearly white smile. The first wrinkle came when her husband cheated on her the first time, the second came when he cheated the second time and so on.

That's what marriage can do to you apparently.

"Why?" I asked, closing the novel 'The Maze Runner' which I had been addicted to recently. Carries etched smile remained as she went over to my cabinet where she got my suitcase out of. "Your dad won custody. As of today, you'll move in with him and his family" she explained.

My stomach tightened when she mentioned his new family. I knew he had found another wife yet I felt like I was in the past. The past you want to forget.

I wanted my Dad to be happy and watching me night and day will only frighten me. I don't want him to turn out like mum.

"Carrie-" Carrie shook her head, knowing what I was going to say. "No, I don't want to hear it. You've given me this speech before. Your Dad loves you and has fought for you for years, your special Noah. You have survived for this long because you are strong."

"Or because I practically live in a hospital" I muttered. She scoffed as she started piling my clothes into my suitcase. Scooting off my bed I picked up my Aztec back-pack and started putting my most important items in there. My camera, my book and a picture of my mum, dad and me.