I rip out the chapters one, two, three, four
Crumpled balls that lie on the floor
Forgive and forget
But that hasn't happened yet
It never will as i try t find an outlet
It's still not all out yet
I can't forget
As i'm filled with this regret
A seven chapter book is all it came to be
When i tried to write what came to me
Bound by this shame
All brought on by one name
One singular name
As i twist them into my game
This guilt wears me raw
As i try to recall every detail of every moment i saw
Only one face is in them all
As I try to rewrite all the chapters in my barely legible scrawl
The chapters were wrong the first time
I tried fitting everything into the perfect rhyme
I tried to give this intense feeling one encompassing name
As i felt like a moth being drawn to the most brilliant flame
In reality it's like the crumpled paper on the floor
Mounting higher and higher until it can't climb any more
Everything was a giant mess
I told it all, without a second guess
You were bound to understand
It was illogical to deny we fit hand in hand
I didn't even happen to hide
what i was feeling inside
Message after message I sent
They became ridiculously frequent
I didn't know how to stop
This seven chapter book's bound to be a flop
I can't sum up how you made me feel
Because to me it was unreal
All i could think was you and me
I'd finally set my heart free
It wouldn't be weighed down with not knowing
Never worrying about my true feeling showing
It was my fauly as i blatantly said
I can't seem to get the thought of you from my head
So you see
This is the spell you had on me
This too is an inadequate description
This isn't an accurate depiction
This book has only one person's view
And it's mine of you
I can't describe the rush
Or how you quieted my brain to a hush
This does not convey the severity
This isn't said in perfect clarity
I try desperately to explain how my brain jumps to you automatically
It is incapable of being said adequately
So this book will never be what i expect
As another page i reject
5-6-14
