Even Angels Have Their Demons

Even Angles Have Their Demons

I hope you like this. I wrote it for my higher English folio and it has yet to be checked so I will update this one shot when my teacher has checked my story xx

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I'm sorry to tell you that my journey on this earth has come to an end. You probably didn't expect it but then again, who would? I was never that popular in school but I had a great life, or so you thought. You see, on the inside I was hurting but who would believe the girl that had a smile on her face every time you saw her. We grew up together and you said that we'd be together forever. I thought it would be us against the world but I guess all good things must come to an end. However I still cherished every good moment I had with you growing up.

4 years old. In the tiny 2 bedroom council house. Dolls scattered across the floor. Mummy cursing every time she trips over them. Daddy is no where to be seen but that's okay because I have you and that's all I need. Your dark brown curls falling over your face when you lower you head to admire your toy.
The window is open and a breeze is coming into the house. Something smooth tickled my nose and when I look up you have a smile on your face and I know you're trying not to giggle. I jump on top of you to see what you have behind your back. A beautiful bright blue feather falls out your hand and onto the floor.
"A feather?" I ask. You're 6 years older than me but you still understand my words considering I can't speak that well yet.
"When a feather is here it means an angel is nearby. As long as you look out for feathers you will always be safe. I love you sis."
"I love you too Sammy!"

We were so close growing up. Telling each other secrets and laughing with each other at all the silly jokes we told. When you we old enough you got your first set of makeup and the first thing you did was give me a crazy look. Everything just seemed so much better when you were around. To me it was the little things that mattered the most. Life at home wasn't always the best but we got through it together. Me and you. We didn't need anyone else. I grew up too fast. I knew things at six that no kid my age should know but when I was scared of mum and dad after they'd had a couple of drinks I just snuggled up with you. I felt so safe in your arms.

6 years old. Running through the snow with our feet disappearing underneath us. Laughing along with each other when one of us fell over. It's just you and me at the small run down park across from the house. We don't have much but it's enough and as long as I have you I don't need anything else. We come to a quick stop and plopped next to each other. We lay there for ages. The cold snow was noting compared to the warmth of our bodies mixing together.
As we made our way back across the street to the house my eye caught sight of something blue and shiny underneath the ice.Taking a closer look I came across a feather. It's just like the one we found a couple of years ago.
"Hey Sammy look!" I shout to you. You're just a couple of steps ahead of me so you turn back to take a look.
"A feather! See I told you Lucy, there's always someone looking over you. You're my little angel and I'll protect you with everything I have. Forever and Always"
"Forever and always."

I should have known that it wouldn't last. A couple of years after that you had no time for me at all. Every time I would try to talk to you you would just push me away. You didn't love me anymore. Things at home got worse but you never noticed because you were always out with your newly found boyfriend or your friends. You started to go to parties and would get drunk and it got that bad that I thought you would end up just like our parents. I couldn't believe that you would do that to me but then again, what else was I meant to expect. You were older and growing up. You didn't need an annoying little sister to ruin your reputation with your cool friends. It got to the point where I thought the world was against me. The monsters were no longer our parents because when your drinking got bad the monster turned into you. I was so scared of the one person that I loved more than anything while we were growing up.

10 years old. Slowly creeping out of our room I took slow steps to the stairs. I'm terrified of what kind of state you could be in tonight. You've been going out every night for the past couple of weeks and you just keep getting worse. The house already stinks of alcohol from mum and dad who went out a couple of hours ago. Bracing myself for anything I peaked round the corner to see you pacing back and forth in the living room. I was just going to go back up to bed when the old floor board creaked. Your head snapped to look at me and in that moment my heart sank. This isn't the brave big sister I had when I was younger. You'd changed a lot and it certainly wasn't for the better. You took huge and fast steps towards me until you couldn't walk any further. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat as you pinned me to the wall behind me.
"What do you want you little brat. You should be here. You're a waste of space and it's your fault that everything bad happens in my life!" In that moment I couldn't be any more terrified. That was the moment that I knew the nice angel of a sister wouldn't be coming back any time soon.
After a couple of punches from you were thrown into the mix I was in our room crying myself to sleep like I did almost every night. The curtain was slightly open and a slither of light peaked through from the outside street lights. At the end of the light sat the feather I'd had since I was just four years old. When I first saw it I was intrigued by it's beauty and kept it beside my little mirror. It was the reminder I needed to keep going.

Even though you scared me I had that glimmer of hope until the night that everything got too much. That night is the reason you're reading this right now. It's the reason that I'm no longer here. You see after you came home from that party I just couldn't take it anymore. You were in your twenties and absolutely nothing had got better. At this point I was counting down the years until I could move out. To be free. I didn't think that it would come to the point where I had to take my own life to be happy.

16 years old. Standing on the ledge of the bridge that we'd walked along so many times before, I'm ready to do the one thing that I haven't tried to be happy. Maybe now I can be free.
As I was about to take the step off, something very familiar to me kept me sane for a minute. As I looked down at my worn out hoodie I noticed the shiny blue feather. It still meant everything to me. It wasn't going to stop me from jumping but for a moment, and only a moment, I forgot about everything. The pain, the hurt, the lies.
Taking the small birds feather into my hand I took a deep breath.
"Now I can be an angel too." Taking that step off the bridge I fell into a peaceful darkness.A better place for me.

However now you see that my life wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. The dark clouds fell over me and brought me down a path I got lost on. The kids that seem the happiest are sometimes the ones that need the most help and maybe, just maybe, if you had payed more attention to me instead of downing your sorrows with the vodka bottle, you would have seen that all we needed was each other. Now it's too late, and if you are reading this then I want you to know, I still love you.

Forever and always.