The Past Sixteen Years

With my birthday approaching in the next two days I’ve been reflecting on not only this past year but the past sixteen. All those times I never thought I would make it through have come and gone. Now here I am still lost and confused but somewhat happy, if that makes any sense. I know scary things are about to happen, but I also thought those horrible days that I never imagined living through were scary and yet I still stand. In these short sixteen years I’ve learned some valuable lessons, especially in this last year, I guess this is what growing up is. I learned that no matter how close you think you are with a person they still might leave you for someone who they think is better. Sadly, I learned this lesson from my cousin. I loved her like a sister, which is a love I’ve never really known before. She clearly didn’t feel the same way about me. Around this time last year she kicked me to the curb and I learned that people change but it’s never for the better. I learned that I can’t plan my whole life ahead of me and I should enjoy right now because I will never have this moment again. I just recently felt the pain of rejection of something I spent so much time counting on doing. Now that I don’t have that I don’t know what I am going to do. But, I also just had an experience where I barely planned anything at all and it turned out to be one of the best nights of my life so far. So maybe my life isn’t how I’ve planned it to be but I’m happy with it. There was a point where I never thought I would see this day and even though I am scared I am glad I am around to see if it really does get better, even if it doesn’t I’m still going to play the game.