Tearing hearts

I'm Sorry, I'm Sorry

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry for being such a bad kid... Please forgive this disgusting excuse of a child."

Not a day goes by that I don't think about how my papa's life would be without me. He would be happy, in love, and living his dream of being an actor. Though I also think about who he would hurt if I wasn't in his life. Would my mother have to wear make-up to hide the scars, wear long sleeves to cover the marks, and drink herself to sleep.

I'm only here to feed my father's craving, well he isn't my real father. His blood is not in me which makes me so tasty to him, irresistible to his tongue.

Mother looks at me like I'm a demon as bites and scars show up on my skin which make her avoid me. She can't stand to even eat together as a family, so she works over time a lot.

With mother gone and father in his study, the house is my play house. I get to clean everything and do whatever I want. Though Playing with Papa makes me happiest. His teeth give me pain that swells up in my emotion-less heart, filling it with black dripping liquid.

"Why can't I just be the perfect son for my hard working father.."

Red x's cover my test papers as I crumple them up so father wouldn't see, I would disappoint him greatly. Girls turn away from me saying I'm sick from all the marks on me, leaving me lonely for no one to bring to my father. I'm a waste of space when I'm away from papa. His fingers pulling my tongue makes me feel calm, his love...

"I'm not worthy of my father's pleasuring love.."

Tears often escape my eyes when I'm around papa, sending him into an exciting, loving mood. I will do anything for him to love me like a lover, it drives my crazy when other women flirt with him. They lift their shirt's and spread their legs to trick him into being their's. It's not his fault, it's those sluts. Mother is also one of those sluts.

Stealing the kisses that were meant for me, giving him pleasure that I should have given him. Yet I do nothing to stop them, I freeze sitting in the closet watching. Everytime he does it the the bedroom with anyone, I'm there watching, hating that they are touching my Papa.

His eye's look at the closet, knowing I was in there with his face smiling. This was my punishment from him for being an awful son. He could see my tears and it excited him more.

After he was done, he would ask the female to clean in his shower before letting me out of the closet. This was my time to get ready as the my anger from watching built up readying me to snap. Papa gives me a kiss on the head before sending on my way to the bathroom. My body would shakes as I grip the knife I've been holding the whole time, my free hand opening the door.

The slut would look at me her face filled with pleading horror as I bring the knife into their chest over and over, slicing her skin. The blade would crack to the bone spitting and slipping red liquid everywhere, this is what you get for touching my papa. As the life fades from her eyes Papa comes in smiling before kissing me deeply and giving me his love.

He has ate my innocence entirely,"Now Papa will finally love me."