Today I woke up early to go to school and honestly I wasn't thrilled by the idea but i had to do it anyways, I was having breakfast in my bed when I turned to check my phone and my yogurt spilt all over me , I didn't know what to do so I froze and just stood there. I got myself cleaned and I didn't let that incident ruin my day.
On my way to school I kept wondering what would happen with Alesia ( my best friend) she's been depressed for over a month and I don't know why and she's been distant with me because she says that I do everything my other friends tell me but deep down she's just jealous that I'm not with her all the time anymore, it breaks my heart because she's my best friend and she means a lot to me but anyways I kept thinking how she was going to act around me today.
When I arrived to school everything was good, my dad parked for a couple of minutes because I didn't want to leave the car, I was at my car and I see Alesia walking to the door and before I would've ran to her even if I didn't want to leave my car but this time I just sat there and saw her getting into the school doors.
After a couple more minutes I left my car and went to my classroom, I said hi to everyone and hugged all my friends except Alesia, she's never liked hugs and this moment isn't quite the best time to hug her.
All day long she was distant with me and I felt really bad but my other friends were there so it didn't bother me as much.
The day went by and I went home, my dad picked me up (because he quit his job )and left me in my mom's house ( which is my base home too because my parents are divorced ) and he went upstairs hopping that he could stay there until I went to exercise with him but I knew my mom didn't want him there so I told him I would exercise at home and he could come back later to see my brother who wasn't home at the moment.
Everything was fine, I ate and watched tv with my mom , I took a nap and she left to pick up my brother.
I woke up before my mom and brother arrived but I was still tired so I tried to go back to sleep but it was so difficult, while I was trying to go back to my nap they arrived and my dogs made so much noice they made impossible for me to go back to sleep but I faked sleep because I didn't want to talk to them. After a while I woke up and again everything was ok, I was watching YouTube minding my own business.
My dad arrived again and he brought his dog ( my favorite dog) I was so happy.
My mom and dad started arguing ( as usual) about me going to a gym or something and suddenly everything turned and they started talking about the divorce and how my mom demanded him first and my dad didn't like his old job and had to quit , I was just so done with them arguing that I just sat in my bed and listened.
My dad was still here and they kept arguing so I left the room to go for my dog and when I go look for her she's fighting ( big time ) with my other dog, they'd all ready fought before and one of them bit my mom and opened her hand so my brother was hardcore crying and I was screaming and my mom and dad tried to separate them, when they finally did i went to my room with my dad and dog to check her , she was fine so my dad went with my brother that was still crying hardcore, at this point I'm just so done with all the drama my family creates( which is not their fault it just happens, we don't know how to communicate and we explode)that I'm just in my room watching my dog and not thinking about anything else than wanting to get away from my family for a while, it sounds so bad but I can't, I'm so stressed and so depressed that I need to take a break from everyone.
The worst thing is that I can't tell anyone ( or at least I don't want to) because I'm the strong friend, the one that everyone comes to when they are sad, angry or whatever. I know that friends are there to help and support you but I don't really enjoy sharing my deep feelings and having everyone feeling sorry for me, that's not my thing
The only thing that is keeping me from falling apart at this point ( it sound exaggerated but i had the worst spring break ever) is my therapy, i go back tomorrow because my psychologist was kind vacation and I can't wait to go.
