She stood out on the ledge, still uncertain of her decision. She glanced out across the city. “Everything looks beautiful from high up above,” she muttered under her breath, bitterly quoting an author she once felt a certain affinity with.
“Very true,” the voice came from behind, but she refrained from snapping around, suddenly fearful that she might fall. She smiled to herself, amused at her own sudden change in priorities. Slowly she spun, and jumped off the ledge, landing with a thud as she hit the concrete roof. Grace had never been one of her qualities, much to her mother’s dismay. She ought to be more like her sister; small, thin, lithe. Not that it mattered anymore.
“Looking for a way out?” the stranger asked. It was a man, she could see now, although the deep vibrato had definitely tipped her off. She wasn’t sure what she had expected had someone found her, but it was decidedly not this. Not this casual tone, the easy inquisition, that was certain. Strangely, she liked it better this way. Better than what? She wondered. Being alone? She didn’t mind that. Never had, I suppose. People are afraid of being alone, but they never seem to realise that they’ve always been that way. Ignorance is bliss.
“Something like that,” She replied, not meeting his eyes. She would prefer not to be pitied today. She’d had enough of that to last a lifetime.
After a seemingly eternal silence, she finally allowed herself to fully take him in. He was tall, broad shouldered. Quite handsome really. She gave him a half-hearted smile. She sat down on the hard ground, looking oddly childish with her legs crossed and hands in lap. She couldn’t help but be surprised at how calm the world seemed, as opposed to the chaos running rampant inside her head all these years. In this moment though, the silence reigned supreme. It was unnerving. She breathed deeply, remembering all the things she loved about this city, and this life, lost in memories previously forgotten. She was surprised when she felt a presence to her left. She glanced over, and saw the man was lounging on the ground beside her, staring up at the stars. She closed her eyes and lay flat on her back. He did the same.
“Why are you here?”
“I could ask you the same thing,” he quipped.
“I’m not looking for a hero, if that’s why you’ve come.”
“I know and it’s not.”
“How?”
“I can just see it.”
“…So why are you here?” she repeated.
“Same reason as you.”
“Oh…” she wasn’t sure how to respond to that. Should she tell him not to? That would be hypocritical. Should she encourage him? No, she wanted to minimise the number of deaths she was responsible for today. Always had, she supposed. Part of the reason she became a vegetarian.
“Do you ever wonder what it is about stars that makes everything so… magical?” he said, expecting a non-committal answer, possibly even a sharp no. The price of pretentiousness is high.
“They’re pretty. It’s as simple as that. People are always attracted to beautiful things. They lighten the mood.” he murmured an agreement.
“She built up a world of magic because her real life was tragic.” she quoted.
“Did you write that yourself?” he said, with no trace of irony.
“God no,” she exclaimed. “I’m not that pretentious.” He smiled at that. Another thing they had in common.
“You don’t seem pretentious.”
“Appearances can be deceiving.”
In the dark, she felt she saw him more clearly. He was just another lost soul, like her. Looking for a way out.
“What happened to you?” he queried, voice barely above a whisper. “To make you end up out here, I mean.”
“Depression, ED, heartbreak. The usual. You?” Her monotone voice cracked mid-sentence, betraying the emotion beneath her feigned non-chalance.
“Nothing.” he said.
“Nothing?” she was shocked. You don’t end up in a situation like this because of nothing.
“Nothing. Not a thing. I... am empty. Nothing happens to me. I achieve nothing. I feel nothing. I am nothing. I just… use up trees and waste oxygen. The world doesn’t need me.”
“I know that feeling.” she empathised.
“Do you? Pretty girl like you needn’t be lying here at midnight with a stranger discussing the finer points of their shared misery.” He turned to look at her.
“Oh, so this is shared misery now? When did we become so close?” She kept her tone serious, but he could see the amusement in her eyes.
“When we both chose the same building, on the same night.” He stared directly at her, unflinching, suddenly deadly serious. Neither person broke the contact for a long while.
“Might as well get on with it.” She finally said.
“Yes, I suppose we should.”
Slowly, deliberately, they both got to their feet and started towards the ledge. He stepped up first, breathing deep. She climbed up beside him, using the arm he offered for balance. When she stood straight, she was surprised to find him still holding her hand.
“On three?” He breathed.
“On three.” She whispered.
They looked down at the city. So many lights. So many cars. So many people. So much life.
“One…”
She looked at him, flashing a brief smile, which he returned, before their faces fell back into the expressionless mask she had become accustomed to wearing.
“Two…”
They each took a deep breath, closing their eyes as they did so, willing themselves forget the world below.
“Three.”
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Cover: http://www.flickriver.com/photos/zoomcam/3921261005/
