Liar, Liar, Set on Fire

Watching through a window ch 1

        Hold up you probably want to read this! This is a little backstory, this is obviously an AU of the show Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency. There WILL be spoilers. I don't know if the this has been done before, I searched around and I couldn't seem to find anything like it. Don't worry, it's not very complicated.

        I got the idea while watching season 1 and the scene when Dirk and Todd are driving back from Amanda's. When Dirk asks Todd why he says Amanda won't get better, Todd avoids the question in a very suspicious manner. When I first watched this two theories came up. First, was that Todd didn't have pararibulitis or he didn't have it as bad as he claimed. The second was that Todd still had pararibulitis but was hiding it from everyone.

        It turned out that the first theory was correct. I was kind of sad, even though I had absolutely no reason to be. I just love seeing characters suffer. I swear I'm not evil. But this is the reason for the story below, I took the second theory and made it a reality. A fucked up, sad fanfiction reality.

        So this is the shows normal story just with a little change. I'm also going to say that Todd started fibbing that he was better because he knew about his parents financial situation and just decided "Fuck it. It won't be that bad right?". So he doesn't take medication, BUT he has a better grip on what's real and what's being caused by his pararibulitis than Amanda, because he's had it for way longer.

        So if he's at the store and suddenly he feels like he's on fire, he doesn't freak out he just runs to the nearest bathroom and waits it out. But because he never takes helping medication the attacks are more frequent and painful. This leads to Todd having to be kind of OOC. He's more antisocial and shy, and only a little more dying on the inside and constantly in pain.

Whelp have fun with this uh-oh baby!

I do not own DGHDA or any of the characters.  

Story BEGIN!

~o0o~

         Todd had lost his job, which turned out to be surprisingly easy. It also helps if you stumble across a few unfortunate corpses, mauled in a extremely ailing way. He would most definitely have fear racking night-terrors about it in the future. Like he needed more of those.

        Dread dripped off of Todd immediately as he set eyes on the blatant blood seeping from under the locked door. Despite that, it didn't look like blood to him yet. It resembled the shade of artificial flavors, it looked like someone had spilled the false taste of cherry on the other side of the door. Todd had hoped very strongly that it was just that, a mistake. But the smell of iron and day old flesh wasn't something he could trick his tired brain into overlooking.

        That scent stuck. It's oder seemed to hang off of everything now. An aftertaste of his failure. Todd rested on the seat of the same routinely bus he always took. Rest was the only thing on his mind. Well actually hundreds of things were on his his mind, and he knew if he could manage sleep, he would feel relief. At least until the nightmares came, he would have short relief. He did this whenever it got to be too much. The feeling of swarming thoughts was not new to Todd, so he knew how to deal with it. Sleep. It's like dying without consequences. Not like he didn't deserve both.

Only one problem.

Sleeping was one thing Todd was terrible at.


~Todd~

I gaze lazily out the stout window, my head resting gently with fatigue against the damp glass. I felt about ready to drop. The cold surface seems to lighten the load of my headache. I don't think about the passing sidewalk I'm staring at until I see what's walking on it.

The dog.

That damn dog.

Waddling along the sidewalk. But something seems off about it. It doesn't seem... Dog-like? Okay, I am going crazy. But i've seen this dog to many times it's almost pissing me off.

I decide why not yell at the driver to stop the bus immediately in a frantic matter. Yeah, sure Todd, great idea. Before I know it my feet are leading me. I narrowly dodge a car while running across the street.

Should have hit you.

~o0o~


I swooped up the little corgi as soon as I catch up with the rascel. I feel light headed and very out of breath, I push my anxious thoughts to the back of my mind for now. I still keep in mind I can't push myself. This fills me with anger but I shove that away too. But the sound of my own echos rings in my ears.

Weak, pathetic, fragile-

"Bark!" I have been barked back to into reality.

When the owner of the pup opens the door after my frantic knocking I'm still trying to catch my breath. My lungs and throat burn with little to no subtlety. Dammit. Why can't I just be a fit model and also not perpetually sick?

Because you don't deserve anything.

Oh yes, that makes perfect sense. The exchange between me and this man is very weird. I think I saw Lydia Spring...

After I hand him his dog he shuts the door in my face. I stumble back, still feeling incredibly weak. My knees shake feebly, I blame it on the chase but I know that's a lie. I would have been like this anyways. I'm always like this.

I sigh dramatically and I can see my breath in front of me. I begin the walk home. I wasn't thinking when I got off the bus about where I was. I gather I'm about 2 and a half miles away from my apartment. Not short enough to waste money on a bus ride but long enough to be time consuming.

The warnings to not push myself resurface.

"I'll be fine, it's a normal distance." I say to myself outloud attempting to calm my nerves.

But your not a normal person are you?

I almost unnoticeably recoil at the chorus of dark that drapes me with that one inquiry.

Your weak. A liar. A moron. And your alone. Your stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I curl up into a mental ball. On the outside I continue my walk. Trying my best to not let it affect me. By pushing it away, and running like a coward.
Yep.
That was me.


~o0o~

By the time I reach my apartment I am running on nothing. The sensation in my lungs of hotness has turned to a flamelike aching, traveling through my whole body now. I may have overstepped my limits just a little bit. I hear my abnormal heart rate in my head. I make it to my door and slam it as I get inside, immediately sliding to the floor in a messy heap. My vision is swarming with black dots threatening to cause me to faint. I try to stand but my body disobeys me.

Can't even stand, pathetic.

I quickly realize that if I had been the littlest bit weaker I wouldn't have made it to my door in time. Someone could have seen me. The very thought terrifies me, I don't ever want another living being to see me like this. Ever. No one will ever know.

Because your disgusting, if anyone ever saw they would hate you.

My entire body shakes, I feel cold and involuntary shiver, I don't stop shaking. My breaths are labored and I am borderline hyperventilating. I lift my hand with great effort in front of my face and stare at it. It trembles. I tremble.

Am I really this weak...?

Yes.

I mean I knew I wasn't any getting better but I was just hoping I wasn't getting worse either. Maybe the medication really does help... I'm sure I could sneak a pill or two from Amanda without her noticing-

I hear a shuffling that interrupts my thoughts temporarily, I pass it off as the neighbors.

Then I hear a squeaking I identify as my window opening. I almost don't care, and try to ignore it along with the pain in my chest, waiting for both to pass. Until I hear what I can only call the tell-tale sound of someone crawling through a window. Don't ask me how I know. Wait, why the hell is someone crawling through my window!?!

I gingerly raise my head from its position between my knees, squinting my eyes at the brightness of my kitchen light. When my vision clears of dots I see the source of the all the noise, a man is halfway through my windowsill but visibly struggling at getting through fully. He grunts and looks up his eyes make there way to me. He smiles a bright smile.

"Hiiiiiiiii."

I freeze up. Pun not intended, even though I still feel frigid and chilly.
There was a man.
In a bright yellow jacket.
In my house.
There was a british person.