Those Who Surround Us Change Us

Chapter 1

   The world is seen much differently from the eyes of a child to the eyes of an adult. Innocence and naivety cloud a child's mind while the harsh realities of a sinful world cloud an adult's. She was the same, the difference between her adult self and childhood self was drastic, maybe a bit to drastic. She was consumed with the never-ending thoughts of wishing she could revert back to a state of naivety. She was tired of seeing the world in such a pessimistic way, but she couldn't seem to find a way to stop.

   She watched her young nieces and nephews in their oblivious states. They seemed so content with life, something she hadn't been in a while. She questioned why she even tried. She didn't want to show up for work, but every day she somehow managed to drag herself from the comfort of her bed and begrudgingly make it to there. Her boss had become more demanding, seeing a change in her behavior. He was unwilling to let cheap labor go so easily. He made sure that she stayed later than the others, working on pointless projects he had made up for the hell of it.

   She could see what he was doing, but in need of money and a job, even if she hated it, she did what he asked. She felt hopeless and numb at the same time. She knew that her life was bound to only get worse. She hadn't hit rock bottom yet and even if she did, she believed that she'd find a way to somehow continue down in her failures. Her family seemed ignorant to her depressed state, too engrossed in their own lives. They seemed to be everything she wished to be, successful, intelligent, attractive, and family oriented. All the things she had failed at, she wasn't successful, she could barely make ends meet. She wasn't intelligent or she would've been able to finish college. She wasn't attractive or maybe her ex-husband wouldn't have left her. Lastly, she wasn't family oriented or maybe she wouldn't find it so hard to be around the family she should be so dedicated to.

   She wanted more from her life, she wanted to be like her siblings. She wished that she could change, but it didn't seem like she'd ever become anything more than the lazy slob she was now. As she entered her office for yet another day of her boss's constant pestering, she became all too aware of the stares being shot her way. She knew something wasn't right and she knew it wasn't anything good. She had never been an attention-grabbing person, she always blended into the background. You could almost call her a wallflower, but she viewed herself as more of a ghost. To receive this much attention, she knew that she was going to have another horrible day and how right she was.

   Almost immediately she was called into her boss's office. When she entered, the look on his face told her everything. She was done, fired. He didn't have to say anything, a simple nod got the point across. She was out of a job, she knew that she didn't have enough money to continue paying rent. She also knew it was difficult to find a job so quickly in a town with limited work. Her only options consisted of a rundown textile factory on the other side of town and begging her elder brother for a job at his law office. She may have been desperate, but she was not so desperate as to ask her conceited brother for help. So, the textile factory it was.

   Within a week she had an interview and in a random spur of good luck, she managed to get the job. She was beyond ecstatic, she had a job that would pay her just enough to allow her to keep her apartment. She wouldn't have to worry about if she'd have to beg one of her sisters to let her stay with them until she could back on her feet again. Even better, her parents would never know, something she was always happy about.

    This week happened to be the first week of her new job. As she got ready in the morning, she could feel the all to familiar knot of anxiety nestled in her lower abdomen. She could feel nausea starting, but she wouldn't allow herself to puke. She was going to be fine, even people didn't like her, it would just be the same as at her last job. Do the work, go home, go to sleep. She'd ignore the comments like she had for five years, she was used to it, she could handle it. Even with her constant reassurance to herself, she couldn't stop the feeling of wanting them to like her. She wanted to get along with her coworkers, even if she knew it was impossible. Especially with her antisocial personality and inability to smile nicely.

   Her mother drilled into from her youth that her smile was something grotesque. With crooked teeth, beady, almost black eyes, long, untamable black hair, and pale skin. It was almost as if she came straight from a horror movie, one she wished she could get out of. Her sisters were the exact opposite of her, beautiful straight blonde hair, bright blue eyes, slender builds, and fair skin. They stood out in a crowd, gaining the attention of both males and females. Unfortunately, with this beauty came monstrous personalities. Their brains were filled with vain thoughts of beauty and wealthy. Their conversations were filled with narcissistic views of themselves, how beautiful they are, how wealthy they are.

  Her brothers were relatively the same, their physical appearances different from their sisters. Brown hair cut professionally, deep blue eyes, and tanned skin, they were indeed noticeable and they knew it. They had no problems telling their family of their massive amount of wealth and women. They had no shame, something she wished they had, having heard more than she'd ever want to know about their 'love lives'.

   Her parents were the definition of perfection, though that could differ from person to person. In her eyes, they were nothing but snobbish pains in her side. Her mother was slender and tall with long dyed blonde hair and deep blue eyes, her skin was free of wrinkles from the amount of Botox she had injected in her piggish face. She found herself to be the most attractive person she had ever seen. Her daughter thought otherwise, but it's not like her opinion mattered. Her father was built of pure muscle and tall, much like her mother. His hair had started to gray a while ago, but he didn't seem to mind, in fact, he thought himself all the more handsome for it. Little did he know that it was his wealth that attracted younger women, not his appearance.

   Her family name came with wealth, she knew that's why her family had people bending over backward for them. She thought it stupid that people could hear her last name and come running from miles around for the possibility of some amount of money to make it to their greedy hands. After growing up seeing this she became disgusted with it. The name she was supposed to be so proud of had quickly become a brand, labeling her as one of the many cattle in her family. Myerscough was something ugly to her, it was caused a bitter taste to spread within her mouth every time she had to repeat it. She had hoped that when she'd left her parents' home, she would've been able to change it. Unfortunately, she needed money to do that and she wasn't making enough to afford something that she now considered trivial.

    The thoughts of what her new job would be like reverberated around her head. Even if she was nervous, she was excited too. She had wanted out of that boring office job for a while and now she was. As she rode the bus to a few streets away from the factory, she smiled content with this new development in her life.

Maybe things would start to get better.